Masters of the All
i remember the first time i could fly. i was not calm and i lost mind focus and fell to the ground. the friends came to see that i was not hurt. teacher told me to try again. he told me that feeling had interfered with mind focus. i flew farther and stayed longer above the ground. i wanted shawni to know i had flown. i had to wait until we returned to the living place. shawni had been flying for two cycles. i had only seen him fly once. he and the friends of his cycle were practicing on the side ground. teacher had brought us to watch them. he wanted us to know that we could fly too. when i looked over and saw shawni above the ground flying higher than the other friends i had strong feeling for him. krisha knew this and spoke to me. you are feeling for shawni. try only to care for him, haia. it is caring, krisha. i would care the same for any friend who flew as high. it is not caring. it is feeling. caring is the same for all members and all parts of the world. feeling keeps us from caring the same. it is hard to care the same for all members. it is hard to feel the same for all members. try to release the feelings, haia. then the care will come easily. krisha could not understand why i held feeling for shawni. she did not have a friend she was being raised with at the living place. i did not speak this because they were not careful words. krisha knew my thoughts even though i didn’t speak them. we had spoken of holding feeling many times. krisha did not speak to me further about shawni. she was too strong in Field Thinking to enter disagreement. krisha was my second. she guided me and other young ones who showed the abilities to live as Masters. shawni had not worked with a second. he had never needed to. he did not have feelings that kept him from Same Purpose. i knew that shawni would be called by the Masters and would choose to join them. i did not know if i would be called or if i was if i would go. young ones who trained as Masters were called at the sixteenth cycle. i did not think i could ever leave the Field. i could not even think about being released from yarmi and penta. leaving the Field would be much harder. i tried to retain calm when i went to the living place. i would have liked to fly from the training ground to the living place but flying was not done outside the training ground. the counsel members had decided that flying was not beneficial to the Field. that it should be used only as a training ground exercise. it showed young ones that their minds were stronger than feeling and that their minds could move their bodies. when i told shawni and yarmi and penta about the flying i did not tell them that i was the first in my cycle to be able to fly but they knew. i would have told them if another friend had flown. i mostly wanted shawni to know. shawni lived close to the Way and was strong in Field Thinking but i knew he held feeling for me. he did not say that he held feeling for me and the feeling he held did not keep him from Same Purpose but the feeling showed in the living. if i entered disagreement with a friend at the training ground and i had not resumed calm when i returned to the living place i would tell shawni. he would remind me that it was not Field Thinking to bring disagreement back to the living place but he would always ask me in later sun times if the friend i entered disagreement with was being careful with me. i knew it was not Field Thinking to tell shawni of the disagreement but when i was hurt i wanted him to know and i knew he wanted to know. you must not ask shawni to hold feeling for you. i do not ask him. you ask without asking. you tell him what should be kept to yourself. you must learn to care for yourself and believe that you are cared for the same by all members. i do not believe that all the members care for me the same as shawni and yarmi and penta do. if i do not care the same how can they. i have stronger care for some of the friends at the training ground than i do for others. some of the teachers too. all members come to life with differences, haia. when members come into the world they must take form and the form creates differences. the grown ones use mind focus at the joining field to lessen differences but we are not strong enough yet to remove them completely. our differences are much less now than they were at the time of the elders and they will continue to lessen as our mind focus increases. as you move toward being a grown one you must try to lessen the differences in yourself and not react to the differences in others. you must believe that they are trying to lessen their differences as you are. that is why there is no use for disagreement. it is only among young ones that disagreement comes. have you heard penta and yarmi disagree? or the teachers or the over one? i do not think i will ever be able to release my feelings fully. at the ground of the All i cannot always send mind focus to all the members. i know it is strongest when i think of people i care more for. i think that other friends do that too and maybe even other grown ones. you are still young in your cycles, haia. i am only reminding you of what you are working toward. what all members of the Field are working toward. it is only the Masters who no longer need to do the work of the Field.
the elders had spoken of the Masters but they had not appeared until many cycles after the elders were gone. the elders knew the Masters would come but they did not know that they would leave the Field. the Masters told the counsel members that their presence in the Field was not good for the grown ones. they saw the grown ones were relying on their abilities too strongly and not developing their own. the Masters told the counsel that they would use their strengths to connect the Field to the All. they told the counsel that they would return to the Field when all the young ones were formed as Masters. no member knew where the Masters went. if they had formed a Field on another ground. if i chose to live as a Master i would never see the Field again. shawni and i were both formed as Masters. this showed that yarmi and penta both lived close to the Way and had used mind focus for Same Purpose at the ground of joining. yarmi and penta had not shown the abilities of a Master. yarmi chose work as a healer. she had always known this would be her work path. penta was a sky calmer. he had not known his work path early. he had chosen it during the entry cycles. i knew that my work path would be water keeper if i stayed in the Field. if krisha was not able to help me release feeling i would not be called by the Masters. i wanted to know that i could be a Master even if i did not choose to live as one. if you can live as a Master, haia, why would you not choose to join them? i can only live as a Master if i have Field Thinking always. i do not think i ever will. you have the abilities of a Master, haia. i do not know what the Masters will want of you. none of us does. if i want to raise a young one, krisha, i cannot join the Masters. is that a thought you have, haia? i have never heard you speak that. if all members live as Masters there will be no more young ones. our purpose is to live close to the Way. the world that comes from that living can only be of benefit to ourselves and the other parts of the world. but then we will be no more. we do not know that, haia. we do not know what the world will become when all members live as Masters. just as the world changed when the Field was formed it will change again when we are fully connected to the All and living as one. if the others still have young ones and we do not, then they will continue as part of the world and we will not. how can that be the Way? the others may not be there, haia. we have not seen them since the time of the elders. but if they are there are they not a part of us? do you send mind focus to them, krisha, the way you do to the members of the Field? at the ground of the All i send mind focus to every part of the world. they are not a different part of the world like the swarmers or the fur ones or the cold skins. they are a part of us. how can we be one without the others? these are questions of a Master for a Master, haia. i cannot answer them. i do not know if the Masters have answers for them yet. when you join the Masters you will understand more than you can understand here. krisha and i used mouth speak. krisha could not use mind speak and i was not strong enough in my ability to always have her hear me when i used it. mind speak was one of the abilities that showed a member could live as a Master. the young ones at the training ground who had this ability were not to use it with other friends unless we asked the friend first. we were only to use it during exercises and we were not to use it outside the training ground. i was careful with mind speak and did not use it outside the training ground except with shawni. i did not use it often because shawni would not let me but some moon times if we were both awake i would use mind speak and he would answer. the mind speak he sent was always clear and it came in the mouth speaking voice he used. he told me that mine came in his own voice but that as i grew stronger in my abilities he would hear my voice as well. i liked that i could use mind speak but i liked mouth speak better. i used mouth speak too much at the living place. yarmi always had to remind me to lessen my speaking. there is too much speaking, haia. but i have more to tell you. it is not necessary to speak every thought you have. but i like to tell you everything. i know you do but it is not necessary. many thoughts and feelings come to young ones. you have to learn what is important to tell and what is not. as you grow you will understand that there was little that was useful in most of what you are speaking now. then you will understand why young ones speak and grown ones are silent. the grown ones were silent. most of the speaking they did was to young ones. i did not know how i would ever be able to retain calm enough to live as a grown one. at the training ground young ones could speak more and do more with their bodies than at the living places. the elders had understood that young ones needed to speak more and move more but they also understood that the grown ones could not work and develop their abilities with young ones so close. the grown ones worked while young ones were at the training ground. it did not matter if the young ones spoke or moved during living chores. still we were asked to try to retain calm when we were with the grown ones more than at the training ground. this was not hard to follow since we were at the training ground the greater part of sun time. only during the All are One did the grown ones not do the work of the Field or the young ones go to the training ground. the All are One came at the beginning of each of the five changes. during the All are One the grown ones and the young ones and the young ones in the entry cycles would move to the ground of the All and use mind focus together to connect the Field to the All. the young ones who were in their early cycles and did not yet go to the training ground usually slept during most of the sun and moon time of the All are One. even the young ones in their early cycles at the training ground could not stay awake with all the members using mind focus around them. the grown ones sent mind focus to the All through Same Purpose. the young ones were not developed enough in their abilities to send mind focus in this way. during the All are One we were asked to use mind focus to connect to the part of the world we knew best. i sent mind focus through water. often at the ground of All i would lose mind focus and sleep. i could not keep the connection as long as a grown one or the entry cycle young ones. i liked the All are One best during moon time. it was then i could see the glow from the grown ones. i first saw shawni glow in his tenth cycle. seeing him i wanted to glow too. i closed my eyes and tried to use mind focus very strong. when i opened my eyes and looked at my arm it was still dark. i was content with this. i wanted to be like shawni but i did not want to be grown yet. penta had fear of the water. when he was in his early cycles he had fallen into the river and almost lost life. at the training ground he had wanted to be a water keeper but the teachers could see that he still held fear of the water and knew that it would lessen his ability to work with it. they thought the work path of sky calmer would use his abilities stronger. penta was content with that choice. he would still be able to work with the water but only sky water which did not create fear in him as ground water did. at the training ground the young ones were able to try all the work of the Field. over the cycles the teachers came to know where each young one had their strongest abilities and then would speak to the over one as to the work paths they thought best for the young one to focus on during the entry cycles. there were four entry cycles and young ones worked in four work paths chosen for them by the over one and they moved from one to another with each change. at the end of the four entry cycles they chose one work path from among the four and joined the grown ones fully. it was clear early on what work any young one could do. when they entered the training ground in their fifth cycle the grown ones who were raising them told the over one the strengths that the young one had shown in their early cycles. the teachers would start the young one in exercises that worked with the parts of the world that the young one had already shown they liked or had skill with. by the end of the training ground cycles all young ones were expected to have worked with all the parts of the world. when i started at the training ground penta and yarmi told the over one that i liked water best. i liked to swim and play in the river and i often asked penta to ask the sky for water because i liked to catch it on my tongue and i liked to move my feet in the ground holes that it filled. they told the over one that i had fear of swarmers but that i liked to watch the winged ones. i liked the fur beings but would not touch them. i did not like the ground covering. if too much got on my feet i would ask to move to the river if i could not move it off with my hands. every young one seemed to be stronger in some work paths than others. often a young one would show the teachers work that had not been done yet with a part of the world and if the teachers thought it was useful they would speak to the over one and the over one would ask the counsel members if they thought it should be added to the work of the Field. there were many skills we all learned to do that were not useful. but during the early cycles and the training ground cycles young ones were able to try their abilities without thought to usefulness as long as they were careful with whatever part of the world they were working with. when shawni and i were both at the training ground there was a friend called kogi who could ask colors to change. he could send mind focus to the end color of beings that grew from the ground covering. he could ask a yellow end to change to blue or a pink end to change to yellow and it would. when i heard this i wanted to be able to ask the beings that grew from the ground covering to change their end colors too and i decided to do exercises only on this at the training ground until i could do it. why would you want to change the color of any being, haia. i want to see if i can, shawni, that’s all. but why? what if you could change the color of the sky or the leaves or the rock or the water in the river. wouldn’t you like to be able to do that? we can change many things, haia. of what benefit would it be to us or to that part of the world or the Field. it is not for us to use our thoughts to change beings. that is not the Way. when the water keepers ask the river to move closer to the sustenance ground or the sky calmers ask the clouds to move over the sun they are not changing how things are. they are asking the other parts of the world to respond to need. you must not think to force any being to do what it is not necessary for living. that is the greatest lesson of the broken world. you still have not understood this. the next sun time the teachers and the over one spoke at the training ground about kogi and the color changing. they said that kogi had shown great ability to work with the beings that grew from the ground covering. but they told us that we were not to try to change the form of beings. they spoke as shawni had of the broken world. the broken world was something we learned of even before we went to the training ground. the ground covering of the sustenance ground had been turned for many cycles and the pieces of the broken world had been taken out of it but the river still brought pieces. when a piece of the broken world would move through the river it would be taken to the piles which were at the side of the ground beyond the high rock. at the end of each change the fire callers would ask for sky fire to burn them. some of the pieces would not burn with the red fire and the fire callers had to ask for blue fire to make them go back. the smell from the red fire burning was different from any smell we knew from living. i had seen much from the broken world. the grown ones did not show feeling for the pieces they found. the young ones like to hold them and look at them. we did not know what use the made things had. the grown ones did not know their use either. one sun time when i was at the river with yarmi in my beginning cycles a piece came through that i knew. it was the body of a member but much smaller. i called for yarmi because i held fear to touch it. yarmi took the piece from the river and let me look at it from her hands. i could see that it had been made to look like a she grown one. it did not have a head and one of the arms was gone. yarmi told me it was made of what burned in the red fire. i asked yarmi why the broken world had made this. she did not know. i asked her if the members of the broken world looked like us in body and if they had the same faces. she told me that they were the same but that they did not glow. i asked to hold the small body. the arm and legs could move and one of the legs bent at the knee. i wanted to keep the made thing but i knew that it was not Same Purpose to keep a piece of the broken world. yarmi could see that i liked the made thing. i know you would like to keep it, haia. when i was a young one i thought of keeping made things too. one time some rocks came up from the river. they were not ground rocks. they were all the same and a blue color. kera pulled them out. she put them on the side of the river to bring to the pile. i asked her if i could take the ground covering off to see the color more. the rocks had many different sides and when i held them up the sun made them look like stars. i wanted to keep the blue rocks. i could not understand why kera or the other grown ones at the river did not want to keep them or even look at them. the broken world made many things, haia. they did not understand that everything they needed was already here. they did not know the world and they did not know themselves. krisha and i went to the river often to work with the water. many times we would swim. one sun time when we were swimming i stood in the river and my foot touched something sharp. i went under the water and pulled it out. i did not want another member to hurt themselves on it. when i came up from the water i could see that it was a piece of a made thing. i started to swim to the river side to put it down so i could bring it to the piles later. then what was there went away and i was seeing some place different. there was a she grown one and a he grown one and three young ones. they were somewhere inside. they were sitting on made things that kept them higher than the ground and there was a large made thing in the middle of them that many made things were on. the she grown one was holding a round made thing in her hands. there was something green on it and there was mist coming from it like the mist from the river on cool days when sun time starts. i could not breath and i was choking. krisha took my arm and pulled me to the river side. i was coughing and could not speak. i was still holding onto the piece. krisha tried to take it from me but i could not let it go. the place was gone and i could see what was there. what happened, haia? i don’t know. i saw something. what did you see? a place. it was some place else. it was not the Field. there were speaking beings but they were not members. let me see the piece. i opened my hand. it was red. i had cut myself holding the piece so tightly. krisha took my hand and held it between hers. the bleeding stopped and so did the pain. i picked up the piece again and held it between my hands. i closed my eyes and tried to see the place again. krisha opened my hands and took the piece from me.
you must not look there, haia. there is nothing for you to see that will benefit you or the Field. what did i see, krisha? the broken world. yes. that must be what it was. have you ever seen it? no. do you want to? maybe if you put your hands on the piece with me you can see it too. i know what it is, haia. i do not need to see it. is this the first time that you saw with touching? yes. this is the ability of a healer. you will see now when you touch. yarmi can see the pieces? i don’t know. not all the healers see when they touch. you cannot see? no. i was not formed with that ability. maybe you were but you haven’t tried hard enough to use it. did you try today, haia? no. there is no use in trying for what is hard. we do best to know ourselves and to develop as we were formed. i could try for all my cycles to see when i touch and perhaps after much practice i would be able to see. but that would not be good for me. if i try to be what i was not formed as i will not develop strongly. we must all try to be as strong as we can to benefit the Field. your abilities go beyond the needs of the Field, haia. that is why you are training as a Master. you will not develop to full strength if you stay here. if i don’t want to leave the Field, krisha, i don’t have to. even if the Masters call me. as you grow in cycles and understand better who you are you will go where you are needed. do you understand why you should not see the pieces, haia? because the elders said we shouldn’t. the elders did not read the pieces, haia. they did not have the abilities that we have. they destroyed the pieces because they did not want any thought attached to them. they needed to use all of their mind focus to calm the parts of the world that were hurt by the thinking and doing of the beings of the broken world. the Field has been calm for many cycles. we must not bring the thinking of the broken world into the Field, haia. it is thinking according to Same Purpose that made the Field. we must always remember that. the broken world was a place much different than the Field. there was more living done inside than out and the inside places were tall and wide and everywhere inside and outside were many made things. it was a place with much fear and pain. the elders knew this from living as others. the others cared about the pieces and tried to put them together to know the broken world and rebuild it. the speaking beings from the broken world did not understand that they were a part of the world. they used mind focus to separate themselves from the other parts of the world. they created a world far from the Way and they suffered in it.
when shawni reached his twelfth cycle he moved from the living place with yarmi and penta and me to a living place with young ones also in their entry cycles. i was calm about his leaving. for many changes living with shawni had been like living with a grown one. he followed the Way closer than many of the grown ones in the Field. I no longer held the feeling that he was more to me than any of the friends or that i was more to him. it was as i had been told it would be. i had care toward the grown ones in the Field the same as i did toward yarmi and penta and i had care toward the friends at the training ground the same as I had toward shawni. penta and yarmi had raised me according to Field Thinking and had not kept me close to them. i no longer required a second. krisha was through with her entry cycles and had chosen the work path of teacher. i was not given another second because it was thought by krisha and the teachers and the over one that the feelings that had kept me from Field Thinking had been released. my abilities in all the exercises continued to show the strength of a Master. teachers knew that i liked best to work with water, rock, fire and wind and they gave me more exercises with these parts. i knew that during my entry cycles these would be the work paths i would follow. i was able to use mind focus with them stronger than with the beings that were born and died. i was able to help them work together. i called them the four starters. teacher liked the work i did with them and spoke of it to the over one. the over one thought that there might be a work path that focused on working with the four parts together that would benefit the Field. the over one spoke to the counsel members. the counsel members did not think that this new path would be of benefit to the Field. they asked that the training ground not use the words four starters. they did not think it useful for the young ones to think of them together if there was not a work path that combined them. when the teachers told me that the counsel had decided that a new work path would not be of benefit i was calm. i also understood why they did not want to add four starters to the words of the Field. it was not hard to stop saying the word. it was harder to stop thinking it. but after a few changes it was no longer in my thoughts. the teachers reminded me that i must keep my abilities strong in all the work fields so that i would be ready if the Masters called me. during the entry cycles i would not choose four work paths as the other friends would. i would move to a different work path with each change to learn from all of the grown ones before i left the Field. i did not disagree with the teachers when they told me that the Masters would call me. i did not tell them what i had kept from them and from the friends and even from yarmi and penta and sharmi. i was not ready to tell any member what i had kept to myself for so long. i knew that i would not be leaving the Field. i knew that the Masters would not be calling me. i was doing something that was against Same Purpose and far from the Way. i was still seeing the pieces. it was not only that i was seeing the pieces that i sometimes found in the river. i was going to the piles and seeing the pieces that the members brought there. even when i was not holding the pieces i would think about them and i did not try to keep my mind from going to them. i allowed my mind to move far from the Field. far from the living places and the training ground and the sustenance ground and the river and the ground of the All. far from yarmi and penta and shawni and the friends and the grown ones of the Field. i did not look forward. i did not think of what the Field could become. i did not think of what lay beyond the Field. i went back. to the time of the broken world. i tried to put together all the pieces i had seen and make myself understand what it had been and how the speaking beings there had lived. after the first time that i had a seeing with a piece i only wanted to find more. the words that krisha had spoken to me had not lessened my need to see. i started to look for pieces. when i found one i would not show that i had feeling for it. i would put it on the side of the river and i would go back to swimming or working with the water as if i had forgotten it was there. i did not try to see the piece when i took it from the river. i would wait until i was taking it to the piles. if a friend or a grown one walked with me i would mouth speak to them so that they could not tell i had feeling for the piece. if i was alone i would stay at the pile seeing the new piece and the other pieces that were there waiting to be sent back. the pieces in the red fire pile gave no seeings. only some of the pieces from the blue fire pile. i tried many times to use mind focus on the red fire pieces but none ever came. i had seen many blue fire pieces. they showed beings doing what i could not understand. most of what they did looked like living chores but it was hard to know the purpose of the chores. i did not see any beings working. there were not many seeings where the beings looked content. in some seeings the grown beings looked like young ones in the cycles before they went to the training ground. their faces showed that they were full of feeling. it was hard to understand the pieces because the seeings were from many places that were not the same. the made things in the seeings and the insides and outsides of the living places were not the same. sometimes i would find pieces where the made things looked like the made things in the other pieces i had seen but that did not happen often. yarmi was right that the beings of the broken world looked like us in body but their hair and their skin and sometimes their eyes and noses did not look like ours. the beings put many made things on themselves. i did not know if the made things had purpose for them. most of the pieces showed the speaking beings inside the living places but some showed them outside. the ground covering did not look like the ground covering in the field. it was covered with made things and there were few beings that grew from the ground covering and few rocks. one piece showed me grown speaking beings in the water but it was not like the river water. it was much wider and i could not see its end. they were sitting by the side of the water on ground covering that was white. in that seeing i felt more for the water than the speaking beings. i knew that after the earth shakings and the sky fires and the rock moving most of the ground covering had been covered by water that was not river water. the Field was not near this water but the elders knew that the river led to it. i wanted to see that water and to know it. after i saw this piece i thought much about the large water and i tried to send mind focus to it. i was working with the pieces through many changes when they started to bring more than seeings. one sun time i was at the pile holding a piece i knew the seeing from but now when i held the piece it brought a feeling with it too. when this first happened i held fear. it was a seeing where the speaking beings were hurt and mouth speaking back and forth very fast. i dropped the piece. the seeing and the feeling stopped. i picked up a different piece and that one too gave me a feeling with the seeing. i did not like the feelings from either of the pieces. i put the piece down and walked from the piles. i told myself that i could not hold the pieces anymore. i had liked the seeings. they did not keep me from Field Thinking. my work at the training ground was as strong or even stronger than it was before seeing the pieces. they had not hurt me. but feeling them was not the same. i told myself that i must stop holding the pieces. i did not go to the piles for the rest of that change and for the change following. i did not look for pieces in the river and did not walk to the piles with friends or grown ones who did. then a piece came to me in the river when i was swimming and i had to take it to the pile. as i was walking there i could not keep myself from using mind focus with it. i told myself that i would only do this on the way to the pile but i would not stay to hold the other pieces there. i did not know if i would have a seeing from the piece since i had not held one in many sun times. i used mind focus on the piece and it showed me a grown speaking being inside a living place standing near a small fire. she was doing a living chore with beings that grow from the ground covering. she was making them smaller and putting them in a made thing that was on top of the fire. the fire was a red fire. near her was a young speaking being sitting on the inside ground pushing a made thing with his hand. then the made thing that the young being was pushing was gone. a feeling came. it was a feeling i remembered but had not felt for many cycles. i could not remember why i had had this feeling. water came from the eyes of the young being . i knew then that the piece had come from the young one. i wanted to help him find the made thing. the grown being found it. then the young being looked content. but what i felt was not content. it was stronger than content. this too was a feeling i remembered having but not with knowing why. i wanted to see more of the young speaking being and the inside of the living place. i tried to use mind focus to make the young speaking being stand up and move to a different place. i could not. i put the piece down. there was water on my skin and i could feel my heart moving faster than i was used to. the feelings were strong. i closed my eyes and breathed to calm my body. i picked up the piece again. the seeing was different. the young one was there but now there was a grown he speaking being. he was giving the young being something that had many colors. the young being tore the colors and underneath them was the made thing he was pushing in the first seeing. the young one sat down and started pushing the made thing on the inside ground. i had the same strong feeling that was more than content. even stronger than in the seeing where the made thing was gone. this was the first time that i knew the pieces carried more than one seeing. i put the piece down and again breathed to calm my body. i picked up the piece again. the seeing was the first one. i put it down and waited and picked it up. the seeing was the torn colors. i did this over and over but those were the only two seeings in the piece. i picked up a different piece from the blue fire pile. i saw many different seeings from that piece. i saw that it was a part of a made thing that a she young one near my cycles put around her arm near her hand. i understood then that the pieces I could see or feel from were from made things that the beings used or put on themselves. the feelings of the speaking beings had gone into the pieces. i wondered if the beings had meant to put their feelings into the pieces and if they did what purpose that had served. i started going to the piles again after that. i could not stop thinking about the pieces. i did not like the feelings that the pieces gave and i always had to stop between the seeings to calm my body. there were many pieces in the blue pile that gave no seeings even when i used mind focus at my strongest. but there were some that gave many seeings. the grown ones sent the pieces back at the end of each change before the All are One. i started to take the pieces with many seeings and put them in a space between the high rock at the side of the field. after the fire callers sent the piles back i could still go to the rock and hold pieces while i waited for members to bring new pieces to the piles. after the training ground the young ones would stay outside the living places until the beginning of moon time. i would tell yarmi that i was moving to the river or to the sustenance ground to do living chores. i did not do this every sun time or yarmi would have wondered where i was going. i did not like to keep this from her. i knew it was not Field Thinking to keep this from any member. but i knew that i would have to stop seeing the pieces if i told any of them. i was not as strong with my exercises at the training ground. Even my work with water was not as easy as it had been. i didn’t know if it was the feelings or that i was keeping the pieces with many seeings. my sleep was not calm. i started to have seeings and feelings during it. i had never had these before and they gave me fear. but i could not stop holding the pieces. i did not like having a need to do something so strongly. i did not even know if i liked holding the pieces anymore. it was something that i felt i had to do and could not keep myself from doing. one sun time when i was at the rock with the pieces that gave many seeings shawni came to me. i knew that he was there with purpose.
do you know why i am here, haia? yes. do you want to speak first or should i? you can speak. you have been seeing pieces for almost a full cycle now. you knew? yes. why did you wait to speak to me? i wanted you to stop on your own. why are you speaking to me now. because the seeings are hurting you and that will hurt the Field. i couldn’t stop, shawni. i wanted to. but i couldn’t. you will stop now. yes. i will. what have you learned from reading the pieces, haia? i don’t know. that is because they have taught you nothing. they can teach you nothing. they were beings. they were a part of the world. they must have known something about living. they destroyed the world. what could they have known. maybe the world destroyed itself and they had no part in it. why are there no earth shakings now? why is the wind calm and the sky water gentle. why does the river never flood. why is there no fighting among the members and no illness in the Field. these things were still happening when the elders started their work. i feel the pieces, shawni. i feel what those beings felt. i understand that, haia. but there is no benefit in you seeing or feeling what happened there. we know what it was. we do not want to live that way again. the beings of the broken world did not know that they were connected to each other. they lived separately and only took care of themselves and the beings they thought were like them. they did not work together. they hurt each other. they did not know that in hurting each other they were hurting themselves. they suffered because they did not know, shawni. the knowledge was there. they did not want to know. like the others. yes. like the others. i cannot leave the Field if you are doing this, haia. the Masters have called you? no. it is not the time for that. but i must know that this is done or i cannot leave. i will not go to the pieces anymore, shawni. you will know that i have stopped. they are gone, haia. there is no sense in attaching to what was. just as there is no sense in thinking about what is beyond. we need only think about what is here. we are working with the All to live a life that doesn’t hurt the world and make it suffer. once you know that there is living without suffering why would you want to go back to a living that was filled with it. work for the beings who are here. you have many strengths, haia. you must always use them to keep the Field close to the Way. after shawni spoke to me i stopped seeing the pieces. the need to see and feel the beings from the broken world went away. i was content again at the training ground. my abilities with water grew stronger. i could connect to the All through the river during the All are One. i did my living chores without thinking of the broken world and i did not have seeings while i slept. before moon time i liked again to sit with the young ones and the grown ones and watch the sky fire appear. i did not think about the beings from the broken world. i understood that they were gone and that nothing could be done for them. i focused on the members of the Field and i was content to work to make living better for those who were here.
when shawni started his entry cycles i had two more cycles at the training ground. during those cycles i no longer held fear of being released. i did not need yarmi and penta to be more to me than other members of the field. i was becoming a grown one. i knew that i would not raise a young one. i had not connected with another friend strong enough to live with them for the twelve cycles raising would require. if i had i still would not choose to raise a young one. i liked to work and would not want to stay with the young one the cycle before it could drink and then every other sun time until it was released. after work i liked to move over the ground on my own and sit by the high rock or by the river and watch the parts of the world. i knew i would not like to watch a young one during those times. yarmi always knew that she wanted to raise a young one. she connected to the All through members. she liked beings with members best. young ones and grown ones. not all healers did. some connected through the beings that grew from the ground covering and some through the fur beings or the beings that flew. i had abilities as a healer. i had feeling and seeing through my hands. i could stop bleeding and close skin and remove heat and return warmth. but i was not a healer. healers connected to the All through the beings that were born and died. i connected through water. after my first few cycles at the training ground i thought that i would work for the field as a water keeper. in the exercises i was always able to ask the water to change directions or to still or to rise up. i liked water in all its places but i liked river water best. i liked that it looked like sky fire when the light was on it. i liked that i could move through it and under it and even with it. i liked to lay on top of it and look into the sky that led to the beyond. i liked the sounds that the river made. and i liked when it was quiet. we were taught at the training ground to appreciate all the parts of the world and i did. i even released my fear of the cold skins and could work with them easily. but i could not connect with the beings that were born and died as strong as i did with water. the members used water for maintaining health even more than they did the beings that grew from the ground covering. by keeping the water clear and moving strong i would be helping to maintain the health of all members.
the healers used mind focus to maintain the health of the beings that were born and died. members did not often require direct healing. the young ones before the early cycles hurt their bodies the most but any member or even a friend could heal them. the healers helped bring young ones into the Field and were there when a grown one was ready to lose life. young ones were taught to maintain health during the early training cycles. we learned to bring mind focus into our bodies to correct illness. the young ones who were strong in healing could do this easily. young ones who did not connect best with members were told to use the part of the world they liked best and connect with it and then to ask it to help maintain our health. i maintained health through the river. almost every sun time i would go to the river to connect to the water. i could feel the connection move through my body. mostly i felt it through my head and hands and feet. if i put my hands over my heart during those times i would feel warmth coming from them different than body warmth. there had been times of sickness in the Field when disease had spread through the members. at those times all of the grown ones who were well stopped using mind focus in the work paths and joined the healers in their work. there had not been sickness in the Field for many cycles. since before the grown ones who had formed yarmi and penta. during the time of sickness the young ones had been hurt the most. not the young ones in their early cycles. they did not hold fear of death and were able to receive the mind focus of the healers and the grown ones easily. the young ones who were in their training ground cycles suffered the most. the fear interfered with the healing. from this the members learned that young ones must be taught early to heal themselves. grown ones who had lived many cycles did not used mind focus on their bodies. they did not hold fear of death. they knew that the healers sent mind focus for the benefit of all the beings that were born and died and this was enough for them to maintain health. i had not seen much of illness or death in the field. i knew them more from the pieces than from living. in the pieces illness and death came frequently and carried with them strong feelings. they did not carry these feeling in the Field. members grew to many cycles. they usually ended life calmly while asleep. illness came rarely and when it did it was mild and passed quickly. the elders had known from the beginning that Field Thinking and living according to the Way would bring wellness to the members. they knew that fear had been the strongest feeling among the beings of the broken world. it had determined most of what happened inside of them and around them. the others built their world around fear. the elders did not want to live in another world built on fear. i had thought to be a healer when i was in my early cycles. young ones often first wanted to be like the grown ones who raised them. at the training ground i learned that even though i was formed by yarmi and penta they did not form me to be like them. they formed me to be closer to the All. i was taught that it was not Field Thinking to look at yarmi and penta or even sharmi to know where my abilities were strongest. i had to learn to know myself through the exercises. there was much inside of us and the exercises helped us to learn what we liked best and where our abilities were strongest. we came to the training ground knowing some of what we could do. in the cycles before the training ground young ones did not work. they moved over the ground with care but little guidance so that they could meet the parts of the world comfortably according to their own forming. when a young one started at the training ground guidance began. when i started at the training ground it was hard at first to understand that the parts of the world that i had been moving through and living with were expressions of the All equal in value to myself and the members of the Field. it took even longer for me to believe that i was able to reach all of these parts through mind focus. the water was not just what i drank and swam in. it was a part of the world that worked with the other parts of the world. it took many cycles of work through the exercises for me to know that this was true. it was only in knowing that we could be effective in our work. first there was understanding. understanding was not enough to bring us to our abilities. there was much we could be told and understand but if the understanding did not change our thinking then our mind focus would not be strong in the exercises. the teachers brought us from understanding to belief. belief was stronger than understanding. only through belief were we able to begin to use our mind focus to work with the parts of the world. but believing was not enough to bring us to our strongest abilities. there were many times in the exercises that i believed i could do something through mind focus and i was able to but then was not able to repeat it. at the training ground we were taught to move past belief to knowing. it was only when a person came to the level of knowing that what was in their mind could become real in the world. there was nothing that could not be made real in the world if it could be thought of in the mind of a member. but unless a member had knowing with this thought it would not come into the world. knowing and mind focus did not bring members closer to The Way. the beings of the broken world had knowing with their thoughts and used mind focus to bring what they knew into the world. the others also did. it was only when mind focus was used according to Field Thinking that it brought the members and the Field closer to The Way. young ones did not come to the training ground until the fifth cycle. they lived almost entirely by feeling and could not be expected to understand or practice Field Thinking. young ones could be very strong in their feelings. usually their feelings were attached to what they wanted or didn’t want to have or to do. a young one could be very strong at putting their mind focus on what they were feeling. at the training ground the young ones learned how to think instead of feel. Field Thinking brought calm feeling. maintaining calm feeling was part of Same Purpose. all the parts of the world responded to feeling. it was not beneficial to make the parts feel what was not calm. the broken world knew that the world had changed before. they knew that there had been cycles when beings like the cold skins but much larger covered the ground. they did not understand why the world had changed but they knew that the cold skins were no more. the broken world also knew that during the time of beings like them the world had frozen and the world had flooded. they knew this but they did not understand their part in it. they never learned that water changes color when it receives feelings that are not calm. or that rocks become warm when they receive hurtful thought. they thought that the other parts of the world were separate from them and were only there for them to use and make things for themselves. the others still believed this. that is why the elders left. they did not want to live according to this thinking and disrupt the other parts of the world again. even though the teachers told us that the other parts of the world could receive our feelings and our thoughts it was hard to believe until we actually saw it. the first time that i asked the water to rise and it rose i did not fully believe what i had seen. it took me many sun times of asking the water to rise and seeing it respond before i fully accepted that it was listening to me and responding. it was easier to believe that the parts of the world that grew could receive thought and feeling. the teachers taught us not to think that the parts of the world that were born and died were closer to us than the parts that didn’t. they taught us that the parts that didn’t grow had been a part of the world much longer than the parts that grew and that the parts that grew had come from them. rock, fire, air and water had come from the beyond. all beings that were born and died were made from them. the broken world had known that the things that didn’t grow had come from what was beyond the world. but this didn’t make them care for them. they only cared for the beings that were born and died. they used mind focus to leave the world to find beings that were born and died in the beyond. they found rock and they found places where water had been. they saw that there was fire in the beyond and wind too. but they did not find beings that grew. the broken world did not understand that they were from the beings that did not grow. even thought they cared better for the beings that were born and died they did not know that they were equal to them. they thought that no part was equal to them in the world and they fought among each other because they did not think each of them was equal to the other. the elders did not make work paths for the beyond. until all the beings of this world were connected to the All and to each other they did not think it useful to reach into the beyond. perhaps this was the work of the Masters. no member knew where the Masters were or what their work was. i thought i would like to join the Masters just to know their work. but i knew that no Master had ever returned to the Field. i did not want to leave the Field. i had learned to be content with being released from yarmi and penta but i was not ready to leave all the members. i still liked to work with water best. i did not know if there was water where the Masters were. i did not think i would be as strong in my abilities if i could not connect with the world through water. the teachers told me that i did not need to be near the water to connect with it. they told me that once i knew the connection with the water my mind could find it even if the water was not there. i believed this but i did not have knowing with it. the teachers told me that through the work in the entry cycles i would come to knowing. i would use water to bring my abilities to their strongest in the other work paths even when i was not near the water or trying to work with it. many of the friends did not like to work with the beings that did not grow. through the training ground they came to understand that rock, water, air, and fire were as much a part of the world as beings that grow. when they would see other friends or the teachers do exercises with them that showed this they could believe it. but the believing was not always strong enough to work easily with them. i had knowing with rock, water, air and fire in my early cycles at the training ground. i learned quickly that the beings that did not grow worked closely together. this was not known even to all of the grown ones. even a young one before the training ground cycles knew that the beings that grew worked closely together. that was easy to see from living. each being that grew depended on other beings that grew to live. during the cycles before the training ground i had spent all my sun time out of the living place with yarmi or penta learning about the beings that grew. i knew each being that came from the ground covering and i knew the different beings that flew. their sounds and where they built their living places and how they built them. when yarmi or penta would do their living chores at the sustenance ground i would look in the ground covering at the different swarmers. i saw how they worked together and with the beings that grew from the ground. sometimes a fur one would pass close enough to see. i liked best if they would pass with their young ones. i had fear of the cold skins. especially the ones with no legs. i learned quickly which holes were theirs and where they liked best to move in the beings that grew from the ground and i was careful when i moved through them. the living showed that the beings that grew were like speaking beings. they moved as we did and their bodies could be hurt and they lost life the same as we did. when i would see the fur ones with their young ones it seemed that they could feel as we did too. the beings that did not grow did not seem a part of the world in the same way. even as a young one, though, i liked the beings that did not grow best. i was most content when yarmi or penta would take me to the river. i could spend the whole sun time playing with the water and rocks i found in the ground covering under the water or by the side of the river. if there were no members in the river yarmi and penta would let me throw the rocks in the water. i liked the different patterns the rocks made either jumping across the water or the circles they made if i dropped them straight in. i liked to be near the high rock at the side of the field. before the training ground young ones were allowed to move their bodies in the field as long as they were careful. i liked to move on the high rock. i learned many ways to climb. i would not go farther than yarmi and penta could catch me easily if i fell but i did not hold fear of falling. i knew the rock and moved easily. there was a piece of the rock not too far that i could sit on. i liked to feel the heat in the rock when i sat there. i liked to look across the ground from that piece of the rock. i liked that things looked smaller from there. i liked to stand on the piece when the air was moving stronger through the field. i liked to feel the air move through my hair and touch my skin. i would take long breaths of the air and hold it and let it out slowly. and i liked sky fire. i liked when it came with sound. at the end of the cycles i would ask penta and yarmi to take me to the piles to watch the fire starters burn the pieces. i liked to watch the different fire colors. i would stare into the fire without moving my eyes and it would make me calm. it was not hard for me to believe that the beings that did not grow were as much a part of the world as the beings that grew. i was close to them early in my living. during the time that i was seeing the pieces i had many feelings that did not make me calm. during the exercises at the training ground these feelings sometimes interfered with my mind focus. i did not feel content that i was seeing the pieces and keeping this from the other members. the feelings from the pieces and the feelings about keeping them from the members both interfered with my mind focus during the exercises. one sun time i saw that the water i was doing work with had turned darker. i thought that a cloud had passed over the sun or that the sun had moved and a tall being that grew from the ground was in front of it. when i looked in the sky for this there were no clouds and the sun was still over the training ground. i asked a friend doing exercises near me to do work with the water. the water lightened. i tried to do work again with the water and again it darkened. this was the first time that i knew water received feeling. before this i had only thought that seeing the pieces would hurt other members. i had not thought of it hurting other parts of the world. i did not want to hurt the water. it was not long after this that shawni spoke to me and i stopped keeping and seeing the pieces. i was content that i had stopped. as much for the water and any other part of the world that i had hurt as for the members.
during the last two cycles at the training ground the young ones learned fully what life as a grown one would be. we chose the four work paths that we would follow during the entry cycles. at the end of the entry cycles we would choose the work path we would follow as a grown one. also during the last two cycles at the training ground the young ones learned how they had come into the world. we all knew that we were formed by the grown ones who raised us and that we were formed at the ground of joining. but we did not know that mind focus was used in our forming. before two grown ones went to the joining ground they did work with the healers. the healers would help them use mind focus to make their bodies strong so that the young one would be formed well. the two grown ones would work to bring their mind focus together to form the young one before they joined their bodies. they used their mind focus together to see the young one as they wanted them to be. strong in body, open to the All, careful, calm, content, and committed to Same Purpose and the Way. the healers sent mind focus to the ground of joining when they knew that grown ones were going there. usually grown ones only had to go once to the ground of joining to form a young one. when we learned of our forming at the training ground i wanted to know more of how i had been formed. i asked yarmi to tell me how she and penta had decided to raise young ones together. yarmi told me that she and a friend from her cycle had both wanted to raise young ones and thought that they could be content in a living place together for the twelve cycles. the friend had been trained as a Master but he did not want to leave the Field. he had asked the over one if he could choose four work paths during the entry cycles instead of doing work in all the work paths as young ones who had the abilities of the Masters did. the over one spoke to the council members and they said that if he was certain that he did not want to leave the Field then he could do work as the other friends did during the entry cycles. the friend chose the work paths of water, fire, air and rock. he liked the beings that did not grow best too. when yarmi and the friend finished their entry cycles they told the healers that they were ready to do work with them to prepare to form a young one. while the healers were doing work with them the friend asked them stop. he told yarmi and the healers that he had been called by the Masters. he had not told any member. not even yarmi. he had been called during the last change but he had not answered. he did not want to leave the Field and he did not want to leave yarmi. yarmi told him that he must not stay in the Field for her. it was not the Way for him to attach to any member if his abilities could be used better with the Masters. when he heard her speak this he told her that he knew he must go. the next sun time he was gone. the healers knew that yarmi had always known she wanted to raise a young one. they also knew that penta wanted to raise a young one but had not found a friend he thought he could be content with for the twelve cycles. he was two cycles ahead of yarmi. the healers asked yarmi if they could speak to penta. she agreed. the counsel members thought that it would be best if yarmi and penta were together in the same living place for one cycle to know each other better and to be able to make the decision if they could live together for the twelve cycles. there was room for sleeping at the living place where yarmi stayed. penta and yarmi knew that they could raise a young one together early in the cycle. they were both strong in Same Purpose and lived close to the Way. penta had worked with the healers during the entry cycles and the grown one who had raised yarmi was a sky calmer so they both understood the other’s work path. at the end of the cycle penta and yarmi met with the healers and went to the joining ground. shawni was formed. it did not take long for yarmi to know that she had gone to the ground of joining with thoughts of the friend who had joined the Masters. shawni did not look like penta or yarmi. he looked like the friend. yarmi spoke to penta and told him that she did not mean to hurt him in this way. penta was not hurt. he understood that yarmi had not meant for her thoughts to interfere with shawni’s forming. and he knew that what yarmi had given shawni was not harmful and would be beneficial to the Field. yarmi asked penta if he wanted to go to the ground of joining and form another young one. penta told her that he did not need this. yarmi told him that she had always wanted to raise two young ones. penta knew this was true and only agreed for that reason. she grown ones could not form a second young one until a complete cycle had passed. this was the teachings of the healers. when shawni completed his first cycle yarmi and penta went to the healers again and then to the ground of joining. i was formed. yarmi told me when she formed me she did not have thoughts of the friend who had left. she was content at the living place with penta and raising shawni. but she could tell that thought interfered. i looked very much like penta. penta had known that yarmi would go to the ground of joining wanted this young one to be more like him. so he put his mind focus on Field Thinking but he also focused on me not having fear of the water.
why was i formed with the abilities of a Master? i do not know this, haia. i was not thinking of this when i formed you. i did not know that shawni had the abilities of a Master when i went to the ground of joining to form you. did penta want me to have the abilities of a Master? no. but it is part of Field Thinking not to keep young ones close to us. penta and i did not go to the ground of joining with the thought that we did not want you to leave the Field. it is the Way for members to become Masters. there were no Masters when the elders started the Field. they came many cycles later. now they are being formed more and more. what will happen when all young ones are formed as Masters? we don’t know, haia. it is not something we need to answer. but if all the members leave when they are Masters there will be no Field. then there will be no Field. as long as we are living close to the Way and are content it does not matter where we live.
the elders made the decision that grown ones would only use body joining to form young ones. they knew the Field could not be brought into being if members continued to body join without this purpose. body joining was based on feeling. the elders agreed among themselves to stop all that they did based on feeling and to begin living only through thought. they made the decision that young ones would be raised with the members who formed them. they did not want members separated for all their living by the raising of young ones. after the twelfth cycle the young ones would leave the living place where they were raised and live with young ones in their entry cycles and the members who raised them would join living places of members who were not raising young ones. the members would stay with the young one through one full change and then return to their work paths. during the first five cycles the grown ones would follow their work paths every other sun time taking care of the young one during the sun time they did not work. when the young ones entered the training ground at the end of the fifth cycle the grown ones who were raising them would follow their work paths every sun time. raising young ones would not be a work path. the elders knew that the broken world had used their bodies for much that was not necessary or beneficial to themselves or the world. in the Field bodies were used very little. during the first five cycles young one used their bodies more than they would for the rest of their living. at the training ground young ones learned to use their minds instead of their bodies. by the time a young one left the training ground their living was almost wholly in their minds and away from their bodies. none of the work paths required a member to use their body. the chores at the sustenance ground were not hard for the bodies. all members went to the sustenance ground to do living chores. there were no members who did more living chores than others. as the Field developed the members learned that they did not need to put very much into their bodies to keep them strong. many members put only water into their bodies. the water keepers asked the water to bring them what was needed for strength and the water connected with the rocks to do this. members took sun fire and air into their bodies. the healers did work with the beings that did not grow to ask them to bring what the members needed into their bodies. at the sustenance ground members did work with beings that came from the ground to keep the bodies of the young ones strong. the young ones did not take the beings that grew from the ground into their bodies for long. they learned at the training ground to bring what their bodies needed in from the things that did not grow. the elders had not known that the members would be able to live through the things that did not grow. they had only wanted the members to take as little from the parts of the world as they needed to keep their bodies strong. young ones with abilities to be Masters needed less for their bodies than grown ones did. shawni and i did not need beings that grew from the ground before we entered the training ground. by the entry cycles there were sun times that i did not even need water. i did not like to take water into my body. it was enough to feel the water on my skin and to attach my mind to it. it gave me what i needed through my mind. at the start of my second entry cycle something happened in the field that was not expected. two grown ones were taking pieces to the piles and they found the body of a speaking being on the ground near the high rock from the field. it was a he speaking being. he was hurt and at first the members thought he had lost life. one of his legs and one of his arms were twisted and his skin did not have the color of living. one of the grown ones stayed with him and did mind focus on his body to help him breath. the other grown one went to the healers for help. five of the healers came to where the he being was. yarmi was one of them. the other did not move and his eyes were closed. one of the healers felt that the other’s skin was hot. she knew from the touching that the he being had come from the others. the healers and the two grown ones carried the other to the river. i was working with the water keepers there. the healers asked us to ask the water to give the other what he needed to live. the grown ones and the healers carried the other into the river where it was not deep. we kept our mind focus on the water until the other moved. he made a sound of pain. his eyes opened and closed but he was not awake. one of the healers put water in his hand and poured it into the other’s mouth. he kept some in. the healer continued to pour water into him. the healers were in the river with him using mind focus to change the color of his skin and to take the heat from his body. when the skin was cooler and the other had taken in many handfuls of water the healers carried him out of the river to the ground on the side of the river. the healers sat on the ground around the other. the other opened his eyes and looked at the healers then closed his eyes. the healers took off the body coverings of the other to see where his body was hurt. he had many places where the skin was torn and many places where the skin was dark. the leg was twisted more than the arm. the bone of the leg had torn through the skin. one of the healers moved the arm bone into place while another healer moved the leg bone. the other made sounds of pain while they were moving them. he stopped when the bones were in place. two healers put their hands on the places where the bones were broken to close the skin and bring the bones together. the other did not open his eyes. the other began to shake. the healers put their hands on his body and he stopped shaking. the healers worked for the other for most of the sun time. he still did not become awake but he was breathing well and his skin was not hot and he did not shake. the healers carried him to the living place of two of them. they would use mind focus with him during the moon time and more healers would come to him at sun time. the Field learned quickly that an other had come. grown ones and young ones wanted to see him. only the counsel members were let into the living place to see him. many grown ones came to me before moon time. they knew that the water keepers had seen the other. they wanted to know if he looked liked a member in his face and body. i told them that i had not seen the other closely. i had been using mind focus for most of the time that he was in the river. my eyes had been closed. after the healers took the other from the river i had not followed them. neither had the other water keepers. we would only have gone if the healers had asked us. before moon time i walked to the living place where yarmi stayed to ask her if the other would keep life. she said that she did not know if the other would use his mind to heal. she said that when he was found had been close to losing life. i had seen that at the river. i did not sleep easily that moon time. i could not stop thinking of the other. i wanted to know how he had twisted his arm and leg. i wanted to know how long he had been away from the others and how he had found the Field. i wanted to know if the Masters had known he was coming. i wanted to know if there were more others coming after him. i wanted the other to live. i had never seen a being hurt like the other was hurt. in the pieces i had but not in living. i hoped that yarmi and the healers would be able to help him live. i sent mind focus to the other to help him heal. the healers had not asked me to do this. it made me feel calm that i was helping him. i hoped that he would be able to help himself when he was stronger. the other was very sick and very weak. he did not fully wake even during sun time. he could only take in water to his body. two healers stayed with the other during sun time and two healers stayed with him during moon time. the members in the living place where the other stayed were calm and did not speak of the other. they had care for him as they would if a fur one or a winged one had been brought in to heal. after the sun time that the other came to the Field the members did not ask to see him. some of the young ones came to the living place where he stayed but the grown ones told them to return to their living. i did not ask to see the other. after the first sun time that he came i did not ask yarmi to tell me of him. it was not Same Purpose for me to care more for the other than for work or for the living in the Field. i waited to hear of the other from the healers if they felt it was necessary to tell members of his living. i sent the other mind focus in the time before sleeping. i asked the river to give the healers what the other needed to heal when they drew water from it. i had fear that the other would lose life and i would not be able to see him or speak with him. if the other died his body would be brought to the piles and returned to the parts of the world through fire. i was content that i was not working with the fire starters during this cycle. i would not have wanted to see the body of the other returned. after many sun times and moon times the healers knew that the other would live. when his eyes opened he was seeing what was there. he could not keep his eyes open long. the healers fed him as they fed young ones before their teeth grew. they made the beings that grew from the ground soft and fed him with their hands. the other was not strong enough to sit up. the leg and the arm that were twisted did not give him pain but he could not move them yet. when the other could walk and speak the council members would decide about his living. council member was not a work path. every cycle two grown ones helped the Field as councilors. every member helped as a councilor for at least one cycle. the councilors gathered the members at the end of each change to use mind focus at the ground of the All. they helped make decisions on new work paths and on abilities that young ones showed at the training ground. they spoke to the members of each work path to know their work and would help members know when to bring their work paths together for the benefit the Field and when to work separately. the council members had never had to make a decision like this before. other beings had come into the Field. fur ones and winged ones and swarmers. this was the first speaking being. i tried to use Field Thinking to know what decision the councilors would make. we did not know the thinking and the feeling of the other. if he chose to stay in the Field and live according to Same Purpose there would be no harm to the Field. i had seen much of the broken world living. if the others still lived as the broken world had i could not know why the other would choose to return there. he would see that the elders had built a world that was safe and beneficial to all. he would learn that the parts of the world could be calmed. the Field would accept the other as a member. he could find the part of the world that he worked through best and he could work with the entry cycle young ones until he chose the work path for his life. he was close in cycles to an entry cycle young one. but what if the other did not want to stay. what if he wanted to return to the others. that would be a harder decision for the council. he would tell the others of the Field. they would want to find it. if the others came to the Field it would cause great disruption. If they still lived as the broken world had they would hurt us and try to take the ground. i had seen much in the pieces that was hurtful. i would not want any member or any part of the world that shared the Field to be hurt. the other could not return. when i knew this i held fear. what would the council decide to do to the other if he said he wanted to return. the elders had taken life from fur ones that came to hurt them. after many cycles the members learned to work with the fur ones and they did not hurt the members anymore. if all the members in the Field used mind focus on the other then maybe he would come to Field Thinking and want to live with Same Purpose and close to the Way. but mind focus did not work as easily with speaking beings as it did on other parts of the world. the other parts did not have mind focus. if the other did not stop his mind focus in the direction of the others the members would not be able to change his thinking. they would have to use speech and mind focus and living to change his thinking.
the healers could have let the body of the other lose life. it was their work path to make strong all beings who were born and died. would they be able to take life from the body of the other in the same way that they had held it? would the council ask them to do this? would they do this even if they were asked? if the other stayed in the Field but could not connect to a part of the world he would not be of benefit to the Field. it would be much worse than having pieces in the Field. the other would speak and live according to other thinking. he would hurt the beings of the world. it would not be beneficial for young ones to be with him. there could be more others looking for him now. the other could be bringing danger to the Field with every sun time he stayed. i was content that i was not a grown one yet and not a council member. i was not ready to make such decisions for the Field. i thought of the Masters. did they know that the other was here? would they return to help the Field? i did not want to speak my thoughts to other members. it would not be of benefit to put thoughts of fear in their minds. but i needed to speak of the fear i held. i spoke to shawni.
you know of the other. yes. you have seen him. no. only the healers and the members in the living place where he stays and the council members need to see him. i saw him when the healers brought him to the river. the water keepers asked the water to take from the parts of the world what he needed to heal. he is better now. he will keep life. what will happen to him, shawni? what will the council decide? they will use Field Thinking to make their decision. do you think he can become a member? do you think he could be content in the Field? we do not know the thinking of the other, haia. if he thinks as the others then he will be a danger to the Field and cannot stay. but if he returns he will speak of the Field and more others will come. he will not be able to return to the others. the parts of the world between the Field and the others are still not calm. that is why he was hurt coming here. then we must tell him not to try to return. we don’t want him to lose life. it will not matter if he loses life, haia. what matters is that the Field remains calm. you don’t have care for the life of the other? i care for the Field and the parts of the world connected to the Field. if the other cannot become a member then he must suffer outside the Field. i would not be content if the other loses life. i know that, haia. that is why you kept the pieces. you had feelings for the speaking beings that were not even living. you are farther in your cycles now. i hope that you will remain strong in your commitment to Same Purpose and will use Field Thinking with the other. i do not want you to be hurt and i do not want you to hurt the Field. during the middle of the next change the other was strong enough to go outside of the living place. for the first sun times he only sat in front of the living place. then he would become tired and go inside and find sleep again. then he began to move. he could not move easily. his leg was still weak and he could not move it the same as the other leg. his arm could move like the other arm but it was smaller. one sun time the other came back to the living place with rocks that he had found by the river side or at the sustenance ground or at the base of the high rock by the side of the ground. he put the rocks in his hand and bent his arm close to his body and then away from his body. he put the rocks on top of his leg and lifted his leg up from the ground with the rocks on it. he did this with the rocks and his arm and his leg every sun time. i did not know why he was doing this. while he did this he would speak sounds of pain. but he did not stop. when he was done he seemed content. he kept the rocks together outside the living place. no member touched them. the council decided that the other would learn the words of the Field and that he would be told of our living. they decided that the over one would train him. some sun times the over one would take the other to the river. i could see that they were speaking. it was not hard for the other to learn the words of the Field. there were many words that were the same because the elders had spoken the words of the others. the elders had left many of the words of the others outside the Field. they had added words that did not have meaning until they built the Field. the elders did not want words that expressed feeling or that were used in disagreement. the Field had few made things and so the words for the made things of the others did not come into the Field. the over one seemed content to speak to the other and the other seemed content to hear what the over one told him. when the other was near i tried not to break my mind focus and look at him. i tried to keep my mind focus with the water keepers and the river. it was hard for me. i would look over and then close my eyes again. the water keepers did not see me. they did not break focus. the other saw me look over once. i did not look over again. the other had his strength again. he could stand straight and his arm and leg looked as the other arm and leg. the head of the other was above the head of the over one. the members all had heads the same. the she grown ones and the he grown ones. the head of the other was above all the grown ones in the Field. i did not know why the other would grow like that. i wanted to know if all the others grew like him. i wanted to ask this of the other. there was much i wanted to ask him about the world of the others. but it was not Same Purpose to do this. if he became a member he would not speak of the world of the others. it was not Field Thinking for me to want to know of them. knowing of them would be of no more benefit to me or the Field than the pieces. i understood this but i could not keep my mind from asking. the over one brought the other to the ground of the All at the end of the cycle. they did not sit near where i was. they sat across the ground and i could see them. the other did not use mind focus. he watched the members. i could not use mind focus well with him being there. i looked to see if other young ones or grown ones could not use mind focus well. the other members had eyes closed and were not looking at the other. i did not know why the other kept me from mind focus. i tried to keep eyes closed and to put my thoughts with the water. i knew that it was against Same Purpose to keep my thoughts on the other during the All are One. i could not make myself one with the water. i wanted to leave the ground of All and go to the river or do a living chore to keep my mind from going to him. i did not know if i would be able to sit through moon time at the ground of All if i could not retain focus. i tried again to close my eyes and become one with the water. i could not. i only wanted to walk across the ground and sit with the other and speak to him. i did not know what Field words he knew from the over one. i wondered if mind speak would reach him. i would not use it. i did not think that i was strong enough in mind speak to reach a speaking being who was not trained in Field Thinking. i wondered how long the other could sit on the ground watching the members. i opened eyes and saw that the other had closed eyes. perhaps he was trying to use mind focus. his head dropped down. the other was sleeping. like a young one. i wanted to sleep too. i could not stay longer. it was hard taking air and i could feel my heart inside. i had to leave. i stood and moved between the members and the sleeping young ones until i was away from the ground of All. i moved to the river. it was the place that i felt most calm. i sat by the river and watched the water move. i did not use mind focus. i slept by the river and did not wake until it was close to moon time. i returned to the ground of All. the over one was still there but the other was not with him. i looked among the members but the other was not at the ground of the All. i closed eyes. without the other there i was able to find the water. i asked the water to join with me. through the water i became one with the All. i had worked this cycle with the water keepers so i was coming to the All through water. in the other cycles i worked with rock and fire and air. i could not always join with them as easily. i joined with the water best. i saw myself standing on the river with arms reaching out toward the beyond. i felt the All come through my body. i felt it first in my hands and feet. i could feel my breathing slow. i did not do mind focus with the All. none of the members did. it was enough to become one with the All. when i came back it was deep into moon time. some of the grown ones were asleep on the ground. others were still joining with the All. i could see the glow still with many of them. i was not tired. i had slept by the river most of sun time. i thought that i might go to the river and see the moon fire on the water. i stood and moved from the ground of All toward the river. i did not think of the other until i was close to the river. i thought he must be at the living place for sleep. when i thought of him i felt my heart moving fast again. i did not like that feeling. i had had those feelings before the other came. when i was a young one and had almost stepped on a cold skin moving in the green covering by the side of the sustenance ground. and i had had that feeling when i was seeing the pieces. many of the seeings had made my body feel this way. i did not hold fear of the other. the feeling did not come from that. i felt toward him more of what i felt toward the pieces. i wanted to know what he carried in him. where he had come from. his part of the world was not caught in pieces. they were here now and living in the world. if i spoke to the other or perhaps if i put my hands on him i could learn of this other part. if i knew what the other carried in him my mind would not go to him anymore. i would be content again. i was at the river. the sky fire was on the water. i wanted to stay and watch it but i wanted to see the other more. i would have to go now while the members were finishing moon time at the ground of All. if the other was asleep i would return to the river. he had slept at the ground of All. maybe he would be rested and awake by the living place. he was. he was sitting outside the living place looking up at the sky fire or perhaps toward the beyond. he saw me. he stood. i stopped moving. he started moving toward me. i felt my heart moving fast again and water on my skin. i wanted to be at the river. he was near me. i held fear for him. it was like the cold ones.
Who are you? i could not speak. i understood the words. they were Field words but spoken differently. Did you come to see me?
i did not want to be there. i wanted to be at the ground of All connecting with the water or sleeping. i wondered if i could still fly. i would like to fly away from the other.
Don’t be afraid. I would like to talk to you if that’s what you came for.
the other knew i held fear and did not move closer.
What is your name? I am told I am not allowed to tell you mine. I don’t understand why but I am trying to respect the rules that you live by so I won’t say my name. But please tell me yours. haia. That’s a pretty name. What does it mean?
i did not know the word pretty. i did not understand what he was asking me about my name.
We speak the same language. You can talk to me. i cannot speak to you. i will go. Why can’t we speak? Will you get in trouble?
i did not understand his words.
Will you be punished? Is that why no one talks to me? Are they afraid they will be punished? i don’t understand you words. Which ones. punished. It means that someone will hurt you or do something bad to you because they think that something you did was wrong. Do you have a different word for punished than we have? we have no word for what you are speaking. You came here to see me. You already know what I look like. There must be something you wanted to tell me or something you wanted to know from me. i want to know about the world you came from. Yes. That makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is that you are the only one who does. I don’t understand it. I would think everyone would want to know. But they don’t. it is not Field Thinking to want to know. I have heard of field thinking from Tella. You have field thinking and same purpose and the way. These are important to you, right? yes. they are what keep the members connected to the All. Why isn’t it field thinking to want to know about me or where I came from? the others live as the broken world did. we know that your thinking is not according to the Way and is of no benefit to the Field. How do you know that? the elders knew. the world was destroyed by the things that are not born and die because of the thinking of the broken world. what are the things that are not born and die? water, fire, wind, and rock. You think that they destroyed the world consciously? i do not know that word. I’m asking if you think that water and fire and wind and rock think about things and can make a plan like that. To destroy human life. what was the word you spoke for that? Consciousness. That is what human beings have that other living beings don’t. We know that we are human and that we die. Other life forms don’t know this. They act without thinking. human being is what you call our part of the world. Yes. I know you call us speaking beings. I will try to remember your words for things. Do you have an answer for what I said? Do you believe that water and fire and wind and rock planned to destroy the world? the feelings and the thoughts of the broken world disrupted the water and fire and wind and rock. the beings of the broken world did not know that their feelings and thoughts were received by the beings that are not born and die. they did not know that they could hurt them. Is this what you were taught at the training ground? this is what we know from the elders. we would not speak of the broken world except that the pieces still come to us from the river. when the pieces do not come we will not speak of the broken world. We know about your elders. We don’t call them that. We call them the Seekers of the Light. I never knew if they were real or not. There are many stories about them. Some people think they all died in the wilderness. Other people think they became gods and watch over us. My mother thinks they are evil spirits that haunt us. I’m sorry. I’m using words you don’t know. Did you understand anything I said? you know of the elders. what is gods? God is maybe what you call the all. It is something powerful that you can’t see. Do you know the word powerful? No. O.K. Strong? A god is stronger than anything on earth. God control everything. It creates everything and can destroy everything too. the others think that god destroyed the broken world? Some do. Some think it just happened. what do you think? I don’t believe in God. I think it just happened. Something in the earth or in the atmosphere or maybe something hit the other side of the earth. Who knows? We may never know. what is the earth? It’s here. What we live on. Do you know that the earth is a round piece of rock? It looks like this.
the other put his hands together with his fingers bent so that the hands were not touching.
This is the shape of the earth. It’s called a sphere. It’s like the shape of your head but rounder. I don’t understand why they don’t teach you these things. The elders knew them.
i did not know what to speak. i wondered if the other had spoken these words to the over one and what he had spoken. i wanted to go back to the ground of the All. i did not know how much more moon time there was but i wanted to sleep at the ground of the All. if i did not go back now i would have to wait for the next change to do that.
i am moving to the ground of All. You don’t want to talk anymore? i want to sleep at the ground of the All. Can we talk again? I like talking to you. I’m going crazy here not being able to talk to anyone. No one talks. It’s so strange. young ones speak. grown ones are silent. Yes. I’ve learned that. I’ve never been anywhere where people are so quiet. i am going now. Your name is Haia? yes. I would like to tell you my name. Do you want to hear it? the over one said you should not speak it. Yes. He said it carried meaning that is against field thinking. I didn’t even tell him what he was and he said that. it carries meaning for you. the names of the members have no meaning. But you have names. Is it fair that I don’t? you can ask the over one for a name. I don’t need a name with him. I want to talk to you. Can you give me one? the healers give names. when they bring young ones into living. I’ve already been with the healers and they didn’t name me. I just want a name between us. For when we talk. You can think of one.
I left the other standing in front of the living place. i felt tired after speaking with him. there was much i did not understand in his speaking. it was not like seeing and feeling the pieces. i had not put my hands on him. i would not be asking to do that. i would talk to him again. i could find him at to the living place before moon times. i would ask the healers to speak with him. he needed speaking. the others spoke often and members did not. this was a great difference between us. when i moved back to the ground of the All many of the grown ones and all of the young ones had found sleep. there were still grown ones that were connecting with the All through a part of the world did not glow as strong as the grown ones who were at one with the All. i sat on the ground and looked at the grown ones around me. i was content to be back at the ground of the All surrounded by the members of the Field. i laid down and found sleep easily. at sun time the young ones moved to the training ground and the grown ones moved to their work paths. before moving to the river i went to where the healers worked to speak with them about the other. i wanted them to know that we had spoken. i wanted to ask if they thought if would be beneficial for him to speak more with grown ones. the healers had not spoken with the other once he was able to move and eat. they did not think that there was benefit in learning about the other and there was nothing that the other could learn from them that he was not learning from the over one. i told them that he was not like us and that he needed to speak. the healers said that he would have to learn to use mind focus and find a work path that he had strength in. they said he would have to learn to live according to the Way. they told me that they had been using mind focus since the other came to the Field to try and open his mind to connectedness with the other parts of the world. they said he was strong in the thinking of the others and that they did not think they had been able to help him in this way. they told me that i should speak to the over one if i had a need to speak with the other. i did not know if i had a need to speak with the other. before we spoke i had thought i would have many questions for him about the others. but in speaking with him i knew that these questions were not necessary and learning of the others would not be of benefit to the Field just as seeing and feeling the pieces had not. but i had care for the other. he was not calm or content. he did not understand that he was connected to the members of the Field. he did not understand that he was connected to us before he came to the Field and that he was still connected to the others even though he was far from them. he did not understand that he did not have to know any of the members for him to be a part of us. speaking with the other would not be of help to him. i would do as the healers did and send him mind focus to open his mind. but the healers had said that they did not think their mind focus had helped the other and together they were stronger than i was alone. i was not a Master and i was not a council member and i was not a teacher or the over one. it was not for me alone to be able to care for the other. i knew this and i knew that it would be best for me to go to the river and do work and then spend my sun time as i liked swimming or laying on the side of the river and listening to water move. but the other had asked if we could speak again and i had told him that we could. i would go to the over one and tell him that we spoke. he would know what would be best for the other. i found him at the training ground. the other was not with him.
i spoke with the other. he did not tell me. he wants to speak with grown ones. he does not feel a part of the Field. i know that, haia. i do not know if he can ever feel a part of the Field. he is going to have to decide what he wants to do. he can try to return to the others but he almost lost life coming here. i don’t know if he can reach them. if he decides to stay in the Field he will have to learn to live according to the Way. he cannot hold onto the thinking of the others and remain here. he will never be calm or content. i have asked him to do work with the grown ones. he is not willing. he is lost and will not allow himself to be found. if you think that you can speak with him and help him to accept what has happened then i think you should. it is not of benefit to the Field to have a speaking one with his thinking and feeling living so close. i do not live as close to the Way as other members. i am not yet a grown one. i think there are other members who can help him better than me. you are the only member who has come to me, haia. the healers do not want to speak with him. the teachers work with the young ones. i have to work at the training ground. you are in your entry cycles. you can speak with the other without the work path being lessened. if you think speaking to the other would not be of benefit for you then tell me. but if you think you can help the Field by speaking with him then i think that would be best. i did not think the over one would tell me to speak with the other. i thought that he would tell me that it was not Same Purpose to speak with him. i thought that he would have me remember the pieces. i had not thought about the other hurting the Field. he did not seem to want to hurt the Field. but he was not content and if that feeling continued and grew stronger those feelings could hurt the Field. i would speak with the other. it would not be easy. we had difficulty understanding each other. i would try harder to understand him when we spoke. i would not ask him about the others. i would try to open his mind to Field Thinking and the Way. i knew the world of the others. it was the same as the broken world. it was a world that the elders had left. i would not try to go there through the other. i would only speak to the other to help the Field. if our speaking did not help then i would tell the over one and i would stop speaking to the other. i did not go to the other that sun time or the sun time after that. i did not want to speak to him until my thinking was strong in Same Purpose and the Way. in the sun time after work with the water i did not swim. i sat at the side of the river and used mind focus to connect to the parts of the world. i tried to use mind focus to reach the other. i did not know if my mind focus reached him. when i felt strong in my thinking i moved to the living place of the other. he was not there. i moved to the river and sat on the side. i tried to mind speak to the other to tell him i was by the river and was ready to speak with him. i looked at the water. i thought to ask the water to help me find the other. i had never asked the water for help in this way. i closed my eyes. i saw the other by the piles. the water had found him for me. i did not know that the water could bring my mind to other parts of the world. the water keepers did not ask the water to show them the world. i wondered if a young one had learned this at the training ground and if the council had decided it would not be of benefit to the Field. i asked the water to show me the sustenance ground. i saw the grown ones doing their living chores there. i asked the water to show me the training ground. it was late in the sun time. there were no young ones there. i asked the water to show me the other again. he was not at the piles. he was moving. i asked the water to follow him. he was moving to the river. i sat with eyes closed until the other came to where i could see him. i opened my eyes and turned to see him moving toward me.
Did you hear me coming? no. i saw you in my mind. Really? You can do that? the water showed me where you were. Can everyone do that here? i don’t know. i never did this before. Did you call me here? yes. did you hear me? I guess I did. It’s weird stuff you people do. you were at the piles. You were spying on me. That’s not fair. i spoke to the over one. he said that i should speak to you. but we should speak of the Field. i will try to help you understand Same Purpose and the Way. I don’t care about those things. I just want to talk to someone. i don’t understand your words. OK. I’ll try to keep it simple. This is a nightmare for me. I don’t understand what you people are doing here. It’s not normal. People touch. They laugh. They talk. They fight. That’s what being human is. This is not human. It’s so boring here I’m going out of my mind trying to find things to do. you were looking through the piles. you like to look at the pieces? That’s what I do. I look for things from the past. I sell them. I make money that way. You don’t know anything about money. It’s how you get food and clothes and everything. In my world you get money for work and you use that money to buy what you need to live. what do the others do with the pieces. Lots of things. It depends on who you are. If I find books I give them to people who do research. If I find parts of machines I give them to people who build machines. Jewelry goes to jewelers. I get the most for that. You don’t understand any of this, I know. It’s almost impossible for us to talk. You can’t imagine how different the world I come from is from this place. How different it looks. You don’t have any buildings or any art or roads or toys. There’s nothing here. i have seen your world. You have? In your mind? Like you saw me today? it wasn’t your world. it was the broken world. but i think they are the same. No. They aren’t. Not even close. That world was amazing. Beyond belief. If you saw it you know. The cities. Who could dream of such a place today. Those building and the cars and planes flying everywhere. I’d give anything to have lived back then. why would you want to return to a place full of hurt? It wasn’t full of hurt. It was full of everything. That’s what life is. It’s the whole experience. You have love and hate and joy and sadness. It’s everything put together that makes life exciting and worth living. If I had to live here I wouldn’t even bother waking up in the morning. What is there to look forward to. It’s just day in and day out everyone sitting around doing nothing. you are not calm. I’m sorry. I’m frustrated. It’s not fair that I’m taking it out on you. You’re the only one who seems to give a damn about me. i think we should speak when you are more calm. Then we won’t speak because I’m nowhere near being calm. I’m frustrated and I’m angry. I want to get the hell out of here and I don’t know how and none of you can help me. You have children who can fly but I haven’t seen one adult even run. I don’t understand what the point is. If you can fly then you should fly the hell out of here. Maybe that’s what I should do. I’ll ask the over one to teach me. you will not be able to fly with you mind attached to the thinking of the others. I was kidding. I don’t want to fly. I just want to get strong enough to make it over those cliffs so I can see where I am. when you return to the others will you tell them about the Field. If I make it back which is highly unlikely. You have no idea what it’s like out there. I’ll never survive. I lost my compass and my knife. I don’t have decent clothes. I’ll freeze to death. I’ll give the elders credit for one thing. They picked a good place to live. the elders used their minds to calm the parts of the world. That’s just a story they tell you. There’s no way they controlled the weather. They couldn’t even do it in the Main World and they could do anything there. the main world. that is what we call the broken world. Yes. It shows the difference between us. Main means the most important. I guess like your Masters. The best there is. Where are they anyway, those Masters. Why don’t they live here. we don’t know where they are. they leave because their abilities are greater than the field. You believe that? I’ll bet they live right on the other side of the cliff. I’ll bet they’re having parties every day fucking each others brains out. It’s always that way. The ones high up make all the rules for the ones down below and they don’t follow a damn one. i do not feel content. i want to move away from you. Hey, I’m sorry. You’re just a kid. I shouldn’t be talking that way to you. Look, all I want is a friend here. I’m not staying. I have to leave. It helps me to get these things out. I’ll try to be more careful with what I say. I have a sister your age. I wouldn’t talk like that to her. I’m sorry.
suddenly the sky darkened and a cold wind came. i looked up and saw a cloud across the sun. the other was holding his body and looking at the sky too. in my mind i heard speaking from a being i did not know, “tell the other the masters will come to see him. tell the other he must stop speaking until then.” the cloud passed and the wind stopped.
What the hell was that? the Masters spoke to me. they are coming to the Field. they ask that you not speak until they are here. That’s what they told you? Well, fuck them. I’m not going to be told what I can and can’t do. the words of the other were not calm. i could see that he held fear. i moved from the river side to the living place. it was hard to speak to the other. i was content that i would not have to. he was a grown one but had feelings of a young one. this is what the elders had left. grown ones who lived as young ones. the other did not know he was a young one. the young ones of the field were more grown than he.
the Masters came to the field at moon time. there were two of them. a she master and a he master. they did not come to the living places. they were at the ground between the river and the high rock. they used mind speak to call the council members, the over one, shawni, and me. they told the council members to bring the other. i moved alone to where they were. i felt my heart move fast and water on my palms and then over all my body. i held fear. i knew that i did not have to hold fear toward the Masters but i could not stop the feeling. i could see them before i moved close to them. they glowed much stronger than any member i had seen at the ground of the All. i stopped moving when i saw them. i do not know how long i stood there or how the Master came to me but he was by my side. he took my hand and we moved together. there was great warmth in hand of the Master. my body calmed with his touch but the water kept coming from my eyes. i did not understand why. the other and the council members were moving near us. shawni was already there. the Masters sat and we sat too. i saw that the other held fear the same as he had when the Masters moved the cloud and sent the cold wind. the she Master spoke to the other.
we have come to help you understand. we do not want to hurt you. we do not want you to suffer. we want to help you accept what has happened.
the she Master put her hand on the shoulder of the other. the other bent his head down. he was not as he was with me. he did not speak. he was calm. the she Master closed her eyes. i wondered if he felt warmth as i had with through the hand of the Master. the others body began to shake. he put his hands over his face. i did not know what was happening to him. he made sounds i had never heard. the she master moved closer to him and put her arms around him. she put his head against his shoulder and kept her hand there. i had never seen a grown one do this with another grown one. the Master stayed like this with the other for some time. it helped him. his body stopped shaking and he did not make the noise. he sat up. the she master wiped the water from the face of the other with her hand. the other looked at her while she did this. then he looked at the ground. the he master spoke.
you have released your feelings. now you can hear our thoughts more clearly. the feelings will return and your thinking will not be clear again. this is going to be a difficulty for you. the healers will have to help you with this or you will not be able to gain control of your thinking. you must understand and accept that your life has changed. if you do not you will hurt yourself and you will hurt the Field. if you were living with the others and you lost use of your legs or if someone you felt close to lost life you would feel the same as you do now. Angry and cheated and determined to hold onto things as they were.
the Master was using words that were not of the Field. they were the words of the others. i knew their meaning when he spoke them. i did not understand why.
It’s not the same as that. Everything is different here. If what you said did happen I would get over it eventually because I would be with people and things that were familiar. I would learn to enjoy my life again the way I always had only without that one thing that I lost. But here I have nothing. Everything is alien to me. There is nothing in the way you live that I can recognize or feel comfortable with. I want to go home. Is that so hard to understand? We understand completely. It is you who does not understand. You cannot return to the others. If you do they will look for the field and destroy it. The field is not strong enough yet to withstand them. Your discomfort is not reason enough to lose all that has been accomplished here. So this is a war and I am your prisoner. You’re not actually as peaceful as you pretend to be. We do not perceive the world as you do. You perceive in opposites. The world is a much divided place in your mind. For us it is an entire whole. You do not see my people as a part of the whole. They are your enemy. That is why you are afraid to let me go back to them. They are as much a part of the world as any other. But they are not healthy. And where they live they make the parts of the world lose health as well. Oh, so we’re a diseased part of the world. One that has to be contained or eliminated. one that needs to understand. Maybe it’s you who are diseased and the rest of us who are fine. The Main World lived as we do. You are the aberration. We are normal. There’s something wrong with you. With this. Not with us. Does it make sense to you that you would come to a place of living where there is no illness, no pain, no suffering and call it sick? This is a distortion in your own mind. I just know what’s natural. And this is not. Do you believe in the gods of your people? No. What difference does that make. So for you the world is something that was created through a series of natural events. Yes. And in the context of the natural world what is your understanding of the place of a human being. No place necessarily. We’re a form of life. An advanced form of life. We aren’t bound by instinct. We have the ability to think and make choices. And what is the best use that can be made of the human ability to think. Survival. That is the end goal of all living creatures. What does survival mean to you. What else can it mean but staying alive. And yet you come to a place where human beings live longer than human beings have ever lived. Where they live in health and without war and without hardship and where they have learned to work with nature so that they do not have to fear that nature will destroy them and instead of marveling at it you are critical and bored and desperate to return to a living that is precarious, destructive, and unsure. Does that make sense to you?
the other did not answer. i did not know which of the Masters had said these words. i thought they may have both been speaking to him together. i was not certain that they had even spoken. we were receiving their thoughts and we knew that they were directed toward the other but it was not clear who was sending them.
You have no answer. There is no answer to truth. Only silence. Your world is full of noise. There is no truth to silence it.
the other looked at the Masters. his face did not show fear or the what he called anger. it was a different feeling.
I just want to go home. That’s all. I want to see my mother and my sister. I want to be with my friends. You can understand everything else why can’t you understand that. These are the emotions of a child. We cannot allow you to return to the others as a child. You must show us that you have the maturity to live as an adult. If you do we will help you to return to your world. How long will that take? Only you can answer that. We will do all that we can to help you move past emotion so that you can begin to use your mind to benefit all the parts of the world. When you understand that this is the best use of the human mind then we will know that you have grown. So basically you just want me to say that your way is better than ours. You don’t just want me to say it you want me to believe it. You want to brainwash me in other words. Again, your emotions are interfering with your thinking. You are becoming defensive and sarcastic. Your sense of self is reacting to being told that it does not have the right to assert itself. You are going to have to learn to live without this exclusive sense of self. And what if I don’t or can’t or won’t. Then what is my fate. To live out the rest of my life wandering around this place surviving on roots? If that is what you choose. And what if the pressure of living here drives me crazy and I lose it. Maybe I’ll take half of you out before killing myself. What about that.
as soon as these words left the other’s mouth sky fire came down behind him and we all felt the warmth of it nearness. the other held fear stronger than i had seen in him. i had fear too. i had never been as close to sky fire before.
If you have feelings of hurting a part of the world. Not only a member but an ant or a plant or a rock or the wood that covers you at the living place we would recommend that you use it only against yourself. Do you understand us?
the other could not speak. he moved his head to answer.
you will work with haia. you will move where she moves. you will use the words of the Field and you will not speak to her of your feelings and the thoughts that come from feelings. you will listen to her and you will try to learn from her. at the beginning of sun time before you go to haia a healer will come to the living place to help you release your feelings so that your mind will be more open to receiving the knowledge that haia will give to you. before moon time you will go to the healers so that they can help you release feeling so that your sleep will not be disturbed. the over one and shawni will watch haia to be sure that she is not hurt from being with you. if she is hurt then we will have to ask you to leave the Field. if you leave the Field without our help you will lose life. you know this. that is why you have not tried to leave. we are finished speaking with you. we hope that you have heard us and that you will find the strength to grow.
the Masters stood and began to move away from us. and then they were gone. shawni and the over one and councilors stood and started moving to the livings places. i waited with the other.
we have to sleep. we are working together at sun time.
the other did not answer. i could not leave him on the ground alone. i did not know how to make him want to move to the living place.
i can be your friend. that is what you said you needed. i know what that is now.
the other looked at me. there was water in his eyes.
Why couldn’t they have just hit me with that lightening and ended it. we should not speak while you have these feelings. come to the living place. you will feel better after the healers work with you at sun time. I’ve lost everything. I don’t even have a name anymore. i have one. the water gave it to me. i asked it to. ino. could that be your name?
the other looked at me and smiled. he was still sad. i knew the words for what he thought and felt. the Masters had given that to me. i was content to see him smile.
Ino. It’s a nice name. Thank you, Haia. At least there’s one human being in this place. you must try not to speak these feelings to me, ino. it is not of benefit to you or to me. the healers will help keep these feelings away from your mind. I don’t want to hurt you, Haia. Not because I’m afraid of the Masters. I like you. And if these kinds of thoughts and words are harmful to you then I’m really going to try and keep them to myself. i would like them not to hurt you, ino. let the healers help you release feeling, ino, and such thoughts will leave your mind. You remind me more and more of my sister, Haia. She’s sweet like you. She was always good at calming me down when I lost my temper. I wish she could meet you. She could really use a friend. The world we live in is a little too harsh for someone like her. I am so afraid of what will happen to her without me there. That’s what worries me the most. What’s going to happen to my mother and my sister. you must put all of your effort into doing as the Masters say, ino. then you will be able to return to your mother and sister. I don’t trust them. They know I won’t be able to do it. It’s an empty promise. words of the field, ino. please. That’s not a field word. no. but i know its meaning now and it is not against Same Purpose to use it. it is not a word that is necessary with members but i think that it can be useful between us.
ino followed the words of the Masters. he was careful with his words. he worked with the healers at the start of sun time to clear his feelings and he sat beside me with the water keepers and was quiet and still when we used mind focus. at moon time he moved to the healers to clear his feelings before sleep. when i moved to the sustenance field he moved with me and used his hands to repair his body covering and to gather beings that grew in the ground. he had ability in using his hands to make body coverings. he had learned that from his mother. she used her hands in this way for work. before moon time ino moved to the high rock on the side of the ground. he did not sit by the rocks. he used the rock to lift his body from the ground. he pulled his body up on the rock over and over. he used the ground too. he moved fast across it. he would move so fast that water covered his body and made his hair look like he had been swimming or under sky water. sometimes he used the ground to push against. when he did his arms would become different. he would put his hand on his arms and touch the difference. he used the rocks that were not a part of the high rock in his hands and on his legs as he had when he was healing. he moved his arms with the rocks in his hands and then would touch his arms. he moved his legs with the rocks on top of them and then would touch his legs. he looked content when he was touching them. i did not know of what ino did from speaking or being with him. i saw him through the water. i did not know if seeing him was Same Purpose. i did not ask the water to see him every sun time. i only asked if i saw that ino was not content at work during the day. using his body on the rocks and the ground seemed to help him. if i saw him before moon time he would seem calm again. ino was not able to connect to the water through mind focus. i told him to listen to the water or to look at it. he listened to me but i knew it was hard for him to sit and not be able to work. at the end of the cycle i began to work with the fire callers. ino could not use mind focus to connect to fire but he liked when the fire callers asked for the sky fire. If I could do that I’d be set for life. I’m sorry. That slipped out.
ino looked behind him quickly.
what are you looking for, ino? You know. the Masters? I know they’re watching me. they can hear your mind, ino. i do not think they are listening. That’s because I’m following the rules. They won’t punish me for thinking wrong if I watch my mouth. is fear of the Masters why you are being careful? Don’t get me into trouble here, Haia. You’re happy with the way I’ve been acting, right? you have fear of me? You know what they said. If you are hurt I’m gone. they said if you hurt me you will have to leave. That’s what they said but I know what they meant. Look I don’t want to talk about this anymore, OK? Let’s just do what we’re supposed to. Teaching and learning. i do not want you to hold fear with me, ino. you will not be able to learn from me if you hold fear. I didn’t make the rules, Haia. I’m just trying to stay alive here.
we moved far from the piles and i called the sky fire with the fire callers. the fire came to the piles and i asked for blue fire for the pile with the made things that would not burn in red fire. we moved closer to the piles and sat to speak to the fire while it worked. i asked the fire to speak to ino. i did not know if it would or if he could receive it. ino seemed to like the fire. i was not content that ino held fear of me. i wanted him to feel calm with me. like he felt with his mother and his sister. i asked the fire to help me teach ino. i closed my eyes. the fire answered. it showed me the inside of a living place. it was small and had few made things in it. there was a she grown one by a fire and a she young one sitting away from her on a made thing. the young one was doing a living chore with something very small. she was moving it in and out of a blue made thing that was covering her legs. the grown one and the young one did not speak. they did not look sick but they did not look content. i did not ask the fire for more. i sent mind focus to make it strong and to be strong in all parts of the world. when i opened my eyes the fire was gone and most of the fire callers had moved from the piles. ino sat beside me. he never left the work until i did.
Are we done for the day? you are going to the rocks? Why? that is where you move to after the work. You’ve been following me?
i’ve seen you through the water.
I shouldn’t go there? Is that a problem? no. why do you go there? To work out. To get strong. you like the rock. I don’t know if I like it. It’s a good place to exercise. we should try to work with the rock, ino. if you were formed in the field that may be what you would have liked best. It didn’t happen with the water, Haia. And it’s not going to happen with the fire or rocks or birds or plants. I think you all are made differently than we are. Or it’s just me. I’m not cut out for this. But, you know, I’ll sit there and behave myself. Who knows after ten or twenty years I might be able to get a spark to fly out of the sky. That would be great wouldn’t it. Quite a life accomplishment. I have to go. I can’t let myself talk like this. i saw your mother and sister in the fire. You did? How? i asked the fire to help me know how to teach you. How were they? Was it them now or them from the past? i do not know. you said your sister was like me. it could have been now. What were they doing? they were in a living place. your sister was sitting in a made thing doing a living chore with something small. she was moving it in and out of something blue that was covering her legs. your mother was doing a living chore with fire. That was Felice. No names. I’m sorry. That was my sister. She embroiders. She earns a little money that way. She’s actually very good. They’re alive. Thank God. I wish I could see them. Is there any way I can? i would like to try, ino. i think we should try through rock. Can’t you just show me yourself? it would not be Same Purpose to do that ino. i want you to see your mother and sister through mind focus. that is why the fire gave me the seeing. Well, then forget it. I’m not going to be able to. What would it hurt to show them to me. if you try on your own with the rock i will show them to you. I’m not your child. I’m not even a child. Do you know how humiliating it is to be treated like one? try to remain calm, ino. i know what the Masters are asking of you is hard. they know this too. that is why they asked me to help you. so that you will not feel alone. i have care for you. this is why i ask to see you in the water. i do not want you to be hurt or to suffer. What are you saying, Haia, that you have feelings for me? you are a being of the world. i have care for all beings. So you feel about me the way you do a blade of grass or a cloud or that bird over there. yes. but you do not understand the care i have for them. if you did then you would be content that i care for you the same.
ino did not answer. i did not know if he was quiet from fear or thinking.
Let’s go to the rock. I will try to see through it.
ino did try. he did not see his mother or his sister. but he felt his hands become warm when he touched the rock. i asked the rock to show me what the fire had and the rock answered. i put my hands on ino and he saw his mother and his sister. water came from his eyes and his body moved as it had when the Master took the feeling from him. i remembered that the Master had put her arms around him and put her hand on his head. i did as she had. through my hands i had many seeings. all were of ino with the others. with his sister and his mother and a he speaking being that i knew was his father. i had seeings of his living with the others. all that he had lost and had fear that he would never have again. water came to my eyes and i felt my body move the same as his. i understood sadness. i had felt it through the pieces but had not understood it. understanding it was much harder. after this sun time at the rock ino and i came back every sun time after the work and used mind focus with the rock. ino had abilities with rock. he could ask it soften and harden and to find heat and cold. he was able to ask it to move. not the high rock but the pieces that were not attached to the high rock. his exercises with rock helped him to use mind focus better with fire. at the end of the change he did work with me and the fire callers to bring the sky fire and he sent mind focus with Same Purpose to the fire while the piles burned. after the exercises with the rock i would ask the rock for a seeing of the sister and mother of ino. he could not see on his own. i did not know why he could use mind focus so well with the rock but could not see through it. he was content that he could see through me and i was content that the seeings were helping him to learn. one sun time after exercises with the rock i asked for the seeing and the rock showed the sister of ino but not his mother. there was a he speaking being and he was hurting her. i felt my heart move faster and i showed fear. i did not want to give ino the seeing. he saw that i held fear. i could not keep the fear or the seeing from him. when he saw it his breathing changed. he stood and walked hard on the ground. he picked up a piece of rock from the ground and moved it through the air. he did this with another and another. he did not have care that i was there. he made sounds that i had never heard. he put his hand against the high rock hard again and again. he hurt his hand. it was bleeding. i moved to him and put my hands over his hand to heal it. he took his hand from mine. he put his hands over his face and moved his head in them. ino let me help your hand. No. What does it matter. I can’t help her. She needs me and I’m here playing with rocks and fire. I can’t do this anymore, Haia. It doesn’t mean anything. The only things I care about are there and I can’t be there so I don’t care about being anywhere. Leave me alone, please. I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. Just go.
i did not see ino at the living place before moon time. i did not see him go to the healers before sleep. i thought that he would sleep by the rock. i did not want to go back there if he was not calm. it would not help. at sun time the healers would come to him and clear his feelings. i was tired. i went inside the living place before moon time and slept. before the end of moon time i left sleep. i had seeings during sleep as i had when i was feeling the pieces. i did not remember the seeings. i knew that ino had been in them. i had fear for him. he was not at the living place. i knew this. i moved from the living place to the high rocks. i knew he would be there. the light from the moon helped me to see. i did not see him by the high rock or on the ground near the rock. i looked at the high rock and saw ino climbing. he was far from me. i called him. he did not hear. i called stronger. i had never heard myself speak this loudly. ino heard me and looked down. you have to come back. you cannot go farther. I’m going home. you will not be able to reach the top. I’m strong enough now. your hand is hurt. I healed it. if you fall you will die, ino. wait for the Masters to guide you. I can’t come down. I’ll kill myself. Just go away, Haia. You’ll either find me dead on the ground tomorrow or gone.
i was not calm. i did not know what to do. i wanted to fly to ino but i had not flown since the training ground. i did not know if my mind focus was strong enough to bring both of us back to the ground. i had never moved that high on the rock. if i could move faster than ino i could speak to him close and he would listen. i moved my foot on the first piece that would hold my foot and found two pieces to hold with my hands. i closed my eyes and asked the rock to bring me to ino. i did not look up or down. i knew that i would hold fear if i did.
Go back, Haia. It’s too dangerous. Please don’t come up here.
i did not respond to ino. i did not want to lose mind focus with the rock. it was guiding me fast and i did not want to lose my connection with it. ino called out again and again for me to stop moving. he spoke closer and closer to me. i did not know if he had stopped moving or if i was moving faster than he was.
Are you crazy? Now we’re both going to be killed. i was with ino. he had been moving but had not moved far. he had found a piece of the rock where he could stand and he was waiting for me. i saw that his hands and feet were open and bleeding and that he had scraped his arms and leg. he had water on his body. How did you do that so fast. the rock guided me. you are hurt. you cannot move further. you are tired and there is far to go. Now let it guide you down. I am not going with you, Haia. I can’t. Please understand. I have to go back. My family needs me. you are not ready to leave, ino. the Masters will tell you when you are. you will lose life even if you move through all the rock. Please get yourself down safely so I can see you there. I need to know you are all right before I leave. I will stay here until you reach the ground.
i knew then what to do. the knowing came to me quickly. it may have come from the rock or the water or the Masters themselves. i asked the air to help me and i released the rock from my hands and pushed my body from it with my legs. the air was caring to me. i could feel it holding me. it felt different from flying. and different from swimming. i did not hold fear. i heard ino call me as i moved through the air. i asked the parts of the world to help me keep life so that ino would stay in the Field until he was ready to be guided by the Masters. this was Same Purpose and a benefit to the Field. the others would not hurt us and ino would be safe. i do not remember being carried to the living place. i was not able to understand what was being told to me for many sun times. the healers stayed with me sun time and moon time. they told me that they thought i would lose life. there were many bones that were not together and there was bleeding inside my body. ino told the healers that he wanted to stay with me. during sun time he worked with the healers. during moon time he slept beside me. he put the water to my mouth and used his hands to heal. i did not know ino was with me. the healers told me later when i could understand what was said to me. the first time my eyes opened and saw what was there the first being i saw was ino. he smiled. he was content to see me looking at him with understanding. he had my hand in his. he told me that he had held my hand through the moon times. i did not try to move my hand away. i was content to feel his hand around mine. i did not remember feeling the hand of a grown one. i had not held one since i was a very young one. i did not know that a hand could feel so strong. shawni and the over one had been to the living place every sun time to see if i had come to understanding. penta and yarmi had come too. i was not able to move with my legs until far into the next change. ino brought the rocks to the living place and showed me how to use them. he put them on my legs and used his hands to lift my leg with the rocks on them. after many sun times i could lift them without him holding me. i was at the living place during the All are One. ino asked me if he could leave for part of sun time to go to the ground of the All. when he returned i asked him if he had connected to the All. he told me that he had prayed to the All. he told me that he had asked the All to heal me and bring me back to where i was before i fell. he told me that he had asked the All to forgive him for hurting me. i told him that he had not hurt me. he would not believe this. i saw that ino was different with me than he was before the fall. he was careful with the healers. he asked them before he helped me but he was helping me more than they were. the healers did not say that ino should not care for me. i do not know if he would have listened to them if they had. when i could walk ino and i spent sun time by the river. he wanted me to go to the river as soon as i was strong enough to be there. he carried me the first time and walked with me into the water. he held me in the water. it felt cool on my skin where it was open and filling in. ino told me to close my eyes and connect with the water. i did as he said. when i opened my eyes i saw that ino had closed his. he was trying to connect to the water too. when i was strong enough to move to the river we would go there for all of sun time after the healers had come to the living place to work with me. ino told me that during the sun times when i did not have understanding he had come to the river to ask it to heal me. he told me that the river had changed color. that it was dark. when i came to understanding the river returned to its color. he knew then that i would keep life and be well. when i was strong enough to work and do living chores the healers asked ino to return to his living place. he asked if he could stay in the living place with me or if i could move to the living place with him. the healers said that ino would have to speak to the council members. ino did not ask me if i wanted to move living places or if i wanted him to move living places. i knew that i had to begin to work again. when my body was weak i could not think of Same Purpose or connecting to the other parts of the world for the benefit of all. i could only ask the parts of the world for help for myself. through the weakness of my body ino had learned to connect to the parts of the world. he had connected with water and with the swarmers. he told me at the moon times before i came to understanding that he could not sleep. he held fear that i would lose life if he did not keep his mind with me. while he sat with me he said he saw the swarmers that give light. he asked them for help. he told me that after he did this they came to the living place at moon time and stayed with me while i slept. i saw this when i came to understanding. they came to the living place until i was strong enough to be taken to the river. i had not often connected with the swarmers. only in exercises at the training ground. i felt that i wanted to do something for the swarmers for having helped me. i did not know why i felt this. the council members told ino that we should not change living places. they told him that i had one more year of entry cycle and they thought it would be best if we were not together at moon times during that cycle. ino did not show anger to the counsel members. he had learned that anger was not Field Thinking. i did not even see the anger in him when he spoke to me after the counsel members told him this. he was becoming a grown one.
They said no. They think you need to concentrate on your work for your last entry cycle. I’m sure they are right. I will sleep at my living place tonight. I’ll miss you, Haia. Will you miss me? i like having you sleep near me. i like your hand around mine. We can live together after your entry cycle, Haia. Do you want to live with me then? if there is a living place that has sleeping for two members. No. I mean just you and me. that is only for members who raise a young one. I know that. We could raise a child to be together alone. I would do that, Haia, to be with you. i do not want to raise a young one. If it’s a way to be together would you consider it? it is not Field Thinking to form a young one for that reason. It’s not hard to have a child here. You would still be able to work and then they are at the training ground. But we would be together every night. You said that you liked me sleeping near you. I liked it too. I could be happy here, Haia, if I knew that we would be together. that is not the Way, ino. you must be content living with all the parts of the world. Maybe one day I could be, Haia. I could learn to be. But it would be a lot easier for me if I could be happy day to day with you. You see that I am learning how to live here. I can do some of things that all of you can. But its going to take time to change all my thinking. And in the meantime I could enjoy life and be happy. Or content. You want me to be content, don’t you? Being with you would give me that. i do want you to be content, ino. i will think about what you said.
ino returned to the living place. i did not find sleep easily for the first moon times. i put my hand in my other hand. it did not feel the same as ino putting his hand around my hand. after the first moon times i found sleep easily again and did not need my hand held. ino and i did not go to the river. we worked again with the grown ones. i had not worked for nearly three changes. i was working with air. ino did not like to work with air. he said he could not connect with it. i could feel that ino was not content. i could not work well with him near me not being content. i asked him if he would like to work with rock instead of air. he said that he wanted to stay near me. i told him that i would come to him after the work. that we could go to the river or the high rock together. he said that he wanted to be where i was. i did not want disagreement with ino. i tried not to think of ino and connected with the air again. when i connected with a part of the world i did not think of what was around me. i was content to do work and to not have to think of ino not being able to connect with the air. shawni came to me before moon time after many sun times of working with the air. we had not spoken since i came to understanding after falling from the rock.
you are strong again. yes. my body is strong again. i can use my mind to work. you are starting the end of the entry cycles. the Masters will call you soon, shawni. i do not know if they will. i know they will. it is ino and my teaching him that has kept you here. they will come for you soon. ino is calm and content in the Field. they will not call me while the other is in the Field. he is a member now, shawni. you do not have to call him the other. he is not a member. he can work with rock and water and the swarmers. he is calm. he uses the words of the Field. he is not committed to Same Purpose. he will never live close to the Way. he was not formed here. he will take longer to understand the Way. he wants to stay in the Field, shawni. he wants to stay with you. he has moved his feelings from the others to you. why do you say this. the council members spoke to the over one and to me. did he ask to form a young one with you. yes. you do not want to raise a young one, haia. you never have. i like young ones. you would not be able to join the Masters. i do not know that they would call me. you have great abilities, haia. they must be used for the benefit of all the parts of the world not one being in it. i would still be able to work if i raised a young one. you have abilities greater than the work of the field. you were formed as a Master, haia. your work is with the beyond. is that what the Masters do? you know that, shawni? i do not know. it is what i believe. have you tried to work with the beyond. no. it is not Field Thinking to reach to the beyond. our work is with the parts of the world. why would the Masters work with the beyond when there is so much more work in this world? the parts of the world are not calm outside the Field. the others do not know the Way. and there may be more speaking beings besides the others. the others will not change their thinking, haia. ino opened his mind to understanding only when he held fear of losing life. he is learning now only because he has feelings for you. the others will not have feelings for the Field or for the members. the elders left the others. the Masters leave the Field. are the parts of the beyond calm? are the beings of the beyond calm? it is only the world that is not calm? we cannot know this. i do not think it is of benefit to move to the beyond until the all the parts of the world and all the beings of the world are calm. then we can all move together. knowing one other brought you close to losing life. what do you think knowing many would do? you should not have let go of the rock, haia. it is not Same Purpose to hurt yourself to save another. it is not Same Purpose for another being to ask a part of the world to hurt themselves to care for them. he did not ask me. i did it out of care for the Field. the others are not ready to know of the Field. ino would have told them of us. the parts of the world would not have let him return. it was not necessary for you to lose life to keep him here. you have feelings for him. you must go to the healers and ask them to help you release those feelings. they will continue to hurt you, haia. they will hurt the Field.
i did not want to speak more with shawni. he knew this and he moved from me. i did not want to think of what he had said. i did not want to think of having feelings for ino. i had care for him. it was not more than i had for other parts of the world. i did not want to go to the healers. i did not think that i needed their help. i did not want to have care less for ino. i did not want to have less care for any part of the world. after shawni spoke with me i held fear for ino. shawni believed that ino had hurt me. the Masters would think that too. they had not asked ino to leave. not while i was hurt and not when i was healed. they may have seen the change in ino since my fall. shawni did not believe that ino had changed. the Masters could see further than shawni. they knew that ino was becoming a grown one. i could not know the thinking of the Masters. if they thought that ino would not hurt me they could call shawni. why did they not call him then. i did not want ino to know that i held fear for him. i did not want fear to keep him from working. we were working with the fire starters again. ino was able to call the fire from the sky. at the end of the change he would be able to call the fire to the piles. he was calm about his ability to call the fire. he did not think to use it when he returned to the others. he did not speak of the others. he did not ask me to give him seeings of his mother and his sister. i did not know if he could ask for the seeings himself. if he could he did not speak to me of this and i did not see feeling in him when he was working with the parts of the world that would show me he was seeing them. ino had chosen to stay in the Field. i thought more on raising a young one. ino spoke to me some sun times about raising a young one and sharing a living place. he believed that mind focus at the ground of joining helped form a young one. he wanted to form a male young one. i told him that i would be content with a male or a female young one. i thought i could share a living place with ino for the twelve cycles. i did not know if staying in the Field and working with the water keepers was the best use of my abilities. i did not know if the Masters would call me or if they did if i would join them. i did not think this was something a member could know until they were called. the friend of yarmi had not known. i did not think i could leave ino if i was called. he had not connected to the other members. he could connect with the other parts of the world. the connection did not make him content. his connection with me made him content. he did not understand that i was not a part of the world. i was a part of the world as a speaking being and that all speaking beings together made one part of the world. ino would attach to the young one we formed. i did not know if he would be able to release the young one at the twelfth cycle. this would not be beneficial to the young one. after the work ino liked me to go to the river. i was well but not as i was before the fall. he knew that i liked water best. he wanted me to keep asking the water to heal me. i told him that i did not want to ask the water for more than i had asked. i held life and was able to work and move in the Field. i was content with this. ino thought that the water would heal me without asking. he moved with me to the river so that i could swim or sit near the water before moon time. he said that i was a water keeper and the water was my keeper. i told him that all of the parts of the world were connected in the same way to all the other parts. he said that it was natural to feel closer to some parts of the world than to others. he said that the elders knew this and that is why the members chose different work paths. i did not like to speak to ino about Field Thinking. i could not always find answers for him that would calm his thinking. i told him he should speak to the over one or to shawni. ino did not want to speak with them. he only liked to speak to me. we were at the river after the work. i found sleep on the side of the river. since the fall i needed sleep after the work. i slept easily by the river. ino knew this. when i would wake he was near me. smiling. he was content to see me sleep. after the fall for many moon times i had seeings while i slept. i did not know if the seeings were of the broken world or of the others or of the time of the elders. i could not remember the seeings when my eyes saw what was there. i only knew that seeings had come to me and that speaking beings had been in the seeings. when i was able to move and work the seeings did not come. i liked to sleep without the seeings. this sun time i had a seeing while i slept. i knew the speaking beings. they were the mother and sister of ino. i had not asked for a seeing of them since the fall. ino had not asked me and i had not asked for myself. it was not beneficial for ino or me to see them. the seeing was in a living place but not the one they stayed in. there were other speaking beings i did not know in the living place. they were not standing or sitting. they had legs bent and were leaning on a made thing in front of them with hands together. they were speaking. i could not hear the words. i could see their mouths move. in front of them was a speaking being with a body covering that touched the ground. it was white. it was a male speaking being. he moved his hand in the air. he was facing the speaking beings who were leaning. then i saw ino. he was not as he was. i could see him but i could also see through him. he moved first to his mother and put his mouth on her head. she did not turn to see him. then he moved to his sister and put his mouth on her head. she did not turn to see him. she stopped moving her mouth and opened her eyes. she put her hand on her head where ino had put her mouth. then ino left. he did not move. he was not there. like the Masters when they left the Field. i woke from the seeing. i was not calm. my heart was moving fast. i held fear. ino was not near me. i stood and looked at the river. i did not see ino by the side moving the rocks over the river or swimming. i moved quickly down the side of the river and looked to where the river turned. i saw a being floating. i knew it was ino. i moved into the water to swim to him. i could not breathe. i wanted to call to ino but i did not have the strength to swim and call to him. i moved underneath the water to swim faster. the river was moving toward ino. it did not take long to reach him. he was losing life. his eyes were closed. i spoke his name. he opened his eyes. he smiled. i put my arms around him and held my body close to his. i tried to use mind focus to call all the parts of the world to help us. i did not feel them answer. i could feel ino slow his breathing. he lifted his arm and put his hand on my head. he spoke.
I love you, Haia.
i felt his breathing end. i still held him. i could not move from him. water came from my eyes and my body shook. i heard sounds come from my mouth that i had never made. i had anger toward the parts of the world for not helping us. i asked the parts of the world to take me too. i did not want to be in the world without ino. then i was spinning. or the river was spinning. or the ground. i did not know. i tried to put my foot into the river to stop the spinning. the ground was not there. no. it was different than that. my foot was not there. i opened my eyes to see why i could not feel my foot but there was only darkness. not the darkness of moon time. there was no sky fire. there was only darkness and spinning. i do not know how long this lasted. when the spinning stopped i saw lights. there were many of them. i could not see the Field or any part of the world. only the lights and the darkness around them. i did not hold fear. i did not feel anything. not my body. not my thoughts. i knew i was in the beyond. i knew everything. i knew the broken world and the elders and the members of the Field. i knew ino and his mother and his sister and his father and all of the others that were and had been and were going to be. i knew that they were all part of a very small place where the rock and the water and the air and the fire combined to form beings and where they would stop forming beings and stop holding their form and become light in the darkness once again. i was light. there was no body of haia anymore. only my mind. clear of fear and emotion. free to move and understand. this is where the Masters lived. this was their Field. was ino here? no. he had returned to the air and the water and the rock and fire that had formed him. it was the same for all members that did not become Masters. you had to make the choice to join the Masters while you lived. your mind had to choose to be with them. these were the lights that i saw. the Masters. they had come to welcome me to the beyond. i did not need to stay with the lights. i did not need anything. only to move and see the beyond. my mind was complete in knowing. nothing could hurt me. nothing could touch my mind. i wanted to know the work of the All. not the small world that i had been formed in. i wanted to know the All through knowing its work in its entirety.
when i left sleep i was on the ground by the high rocks. my body was there. it was not hurt. it was healed. the skin did not show the marks that were there after the fall. i did not know how long i had been away from the Field. i did not have the knowing of the beyond. i only had the memory of the knowing. i knew that shawni was with the Master’s now. when ino lost life the Master’s called him. i was content to know that shawni was moving in the beyond. he had tried harder than most members to live close the Way. in the beyond he would not have to try. he would know the All. i did not need to move to the living place. i did not need to see any members. i did want to see the river one last time. i moved to the side of the river. i looked at the light shining on the water. i listened to the sound of the water as it moved. i did not hold anger toward the water. i would not hold anger toward another being again. the knowing from the beyond would keep me from that. i moved to the high rock once again. i asked the rock to guide me. i would be asking for guidance from many parts of the world to make it safely to the others. i would find the mother and sister of Ian. i would tell Felicity that Ian had visited her in the church before he left. i would tell her that it was his kiss that she had felt while she prayed for him. she would understand. i would be safe in their living place. i would be able to start working from there. the parts of the world would help me. the ground that the others walk and the rock that they build their living places with and the air that they breathe and the water they drink and the furred ones who plow their ground and the swarmers that move beneath their feet. we would do work together to help bring the others to understanding and belief and knowing. and maybe i would be able to return to the Field before i lost life. not alone. not with the others. but with speaking beings who wanted to join the Field and work for the benefit of all.